8. Instant noodles
With just a kettle full of boiling (or half-boiled, we all know how patience erodes in direct proportion to pints consumed) you too can witness actual magic. Hard noodles go soft, and scraps of vegetables appear from nowhere. Delicious, delicious magic.
7. McDonald’s / Burger King
The intersection of real life and drunk life is never more apparent than when you’re in the line at McDo, wondering why you never tried the McChicken Legend. Yet, the milkshakes override any social awkwardness, and dropped change at the till.
3. Ham and cheese toastie.
If you can assemble the ingredients. If you can heat up the Breville. If you can remember to butter the outside of the sandwich. If you wait until the toast browns. If you can avoid burning your mouth on the molten cheese. Then your reward will be this slice of heaven.