back to top

The Definitive Ranking Of Drunk Food From Worst To Best

An impartial and highly scientific undertaking.

Posted on

9. The curveball

The palate wants what the palate wants. Whether it's deep fried pickles or tuna mixed with nutella. Its ability to hit the spot can't be faulted, but its indigestive qualities keep it out of the top five.

8. Instant noodles


With just a kettle full of boiling (or half-boiled, we all know how patience erodes in direct proportion to pints consumed) you too can witness actual magic. Hard noodles go soft, and scraps of vegetables appear from nowhere. Delicious, delicious magic.

7. McDonald's / Burger King

The intersection of real life and drunk life is never more apparent than when you're in the line at McDo, wondering why you never tried the McChicken Legend. Yet, the milkshakes override any social awkwardness, and dropped change at the till.


3. Ham and cheese toastie.

Flickr: 93614903@N00

If you can assemble the ingredients. If you can heat up the Breville. If you can remember to butter the outside of the sandwich. If you wait until the toast browns. If you can avoid burning your mouth on the molten cheese. Then your reward will be this slice of heaven.