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21 Food Tweets That Will Make You Say "Why Am I Even Laughing?"

"The fondue...? you mean, my drinking cheese?"

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Parmesan Sir? "Yes please" Say when. *Grates Parmesan* Sir? "..." *Grates fingers* SIR? "..." *Grates entire hand* Please...I have a family.

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A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive.

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-The name's Bond. James Bond. -I've written Bond now. -Oh. Can you change it or is it too late? -When your coffee's ready they'll call Bond

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the fondue...? you mean, my drinking cheese?

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Mum forgot to do Garlic Bread with tea, more like chilli con cannot be arsed, Jane.

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Maw keeps buying dark chocolate biscuits knowin fine well am allergic tae it hinkin itโ€™ll stop me tanning them ๐Ÿ˜‚ hink again Alison hen get the epi-pen ready

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chewing gum geen me better advice than half ma pals

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Good morning. I've just finished serving a 12-hour Twitter suspension after a friend reported me for saying I don't like roast potatoes.

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Dinny trust anyone who bites ice cream pure terminator teeth

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Why is it when yer maw makes homemade soup it's breakfast lunch and dinner for the next 8 weeks eh yer life

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1st mozzarella stick: omg yes 2nd-3rd: this is great 4-5th: no looking back now 6th: I regret everything

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Number one, why these shits so hard to open? Number two, they loud as hell. Whole fuckin country know you tryna get a piece of cake https://t.co/EBRgsUMzHW

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you: *goes ham in the club* me: *eats prosciutto at home*

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do u guys eat ur burgers with or without the peel?

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I bought quick oats and two days later my roommate showed up with instant oats. I will not be humiliated; I must find an even sooner oat.

18.

Fortune Cookie: YOU JUST BROKE MY HOUSE IN HALF AND NOW YOU'RE READING MY JOURNAL

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Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted

20.

can you imagine being the first person to try caviar. just tear open a fish and eat whatever the fuck freaky beads fall out of it

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