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Sunday. November 23, 2014.
My friends and I just wanted some classic breakfast food from a champion of the breakfast food world. Little did my friends and I know that our simple hankering for pancakes and eggs would turn into an odyssey of epic fuckery.
11:01 Arrive at Denny's. Told to wait.
11:06 Seated by hostess
11:20 Order our food from Barbara
11:26 Place bets on when the food will get here (our latest guess is 11:55)
11:31 Get two waters and apple juice
11:36 Get two more waters and chocolate milk
11:45 Are informed that our food is next
11:51 Entertain ourselves with a drink guessing game. Emily and Iris failed miserably
12:05 The bad news arrives: our order was never placed
12:06 Ask to speak to a manager
12:08 The first cycle of customers leaves. We are still here.
12:11 Meet waitress Triana. She has no idea who our waitress is. We love Triana
12:15 Speak to a man in a tie about food
12:19 He comes back with wrong check
12:21 Man in tie takes order
12:27 Food comes to us for neighboring table
12:34 Waitress comes to take our order again
12:38 NYPD Swat team shows up outside
12:41 Have run out of water. The end is near.
12:44 The food arrives!!
12:45 The silverware arrives...
12:45 The bread arrives covered in a whipped cream, butter substance
12:46 The second, unasked for salsa arrives from Barbara
12:47 Emily discovers her entire meal is chilly, but the hunger prevails and she eats
12:49 Emily begins to cry over her lost Bloody Mary
12:51 Emily feels regret for being a privileged white girl
12:54 Finish our food and sit
12:56 We are informed that 25% will be taken off the bill. We ask for the manager again
1:00 Unmarked swat team rolls out
1:01 Sean strolls by singing. Does not hear the loud banging on the window
1:02 Triana has forsaken us. The world is a cold place. Also we are under the vent so it IS really cold.
1:03 Man in tie returns planning to charge us
1:04 Emily nails it. She is offended to her soul.
1:05 We leave Denny's with a free meal.
Never Again
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