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    25 Things You Inevitably See At A South Asian Wedding

    It's between two and ten days of fun!

    1. A beautiful bride wearing 50 pounds of fabric and jewelry.


    Notable detail: She was fed 5 pounds of dessert during the henna-applying ceremony.

    2. An INTENSE dance battle between the groom's side and the bride's side.

    Erum and Athar Usmani

    3. The one kid who has never done a choreographed dance before.

    Comedy Central / Via

    Notable details: His older cousins told him it was a good way to get girls to like him. It wasn't.

    4. One slow dance only. Everything after that is bhangra.

    5. Uncles dancing only with other uncles.

    Flickr: rajkumar1220 / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: ahinsajain

    Notable detail: You cannot learn their dance moves. It is a special bond that unites them.

    6. Non-desi dates who are ready to show off their dance moves.


    Notable details: Learned everything they know on the college bhangra team. Still can't handle spicy food.

    7. Non-desi dates who are really uncomfortable and want to know if they have to dance.

    8. A groom who has literally never wrapped a pagri before this day.

    Notable details: Somebody else had to tie this for them. Unless they're Sikh, in which case they rock it.

    9. Old ladies who are clearly feeling the groove but refuse to dance.

    Kaleidoscope Entertainment / Via

    10. Old folks making it rain and non-desis wondering how they can get in on that sweet, sweet cash.

    Notable detail: You can ask kids to pick it up off the ground for you.

    11. Jet-lagged family members who just want to sleep.

    E! / Via

    Notable detail: It is literally 8 AM for them right now.

    12. Friends of the couple who have never worn a sari before.

    Fox 2000 Pictures / Via

    Notable detail: Literally needs adult supervision to pee.

    13. Uncles who are ready to give life or business advice to ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN.

    Funny or Die / Via

    Notable detail: Lives to go to weddings for this purpose.

    14. A painfully color-coordinated couple.

    15. Uncles getting down to Hip-Hop for the first time.

    Notable detail: The DJ was paid to only play bhangra songs but the groom's friends bribed him.

    16. Dupattas that always end up on men's head by the end of the night.

    Erum and Athar Usmani

    Notable detail: Also good for leverage during hip-thrusting dance moves.

    17. Woman who are able to touch things now that they've taken the henna paste.

    Flickr: AamerJaved / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: aamerjaved

    Notable details: 3 hours to apply, 12 hours to dry. Not for the faint of heart.

    18. Aunties taking photos with their iPads

    Erum and Athar Usmani

    19. Aunties ON THE PROWL for potential future in-laws.


    Notable details: Outwardly clapping for the brother-of-the-brides speech, inwardly coming-up with pickup lines. On her daughter's behalf, of course.

    20. A hype squad of aunties that's ready to break ti down with the groom.

    21. Lots of qawwali clapping to the beat.

    Notable detail: Proper technique is full palm-on-palm, fingers splayed.

    22. Massive amounts of shade thrown at the person with the sexiest dance moves.

    Sony / Via

    Notable detail: Beta, how will you get a husband dancing like that?

    23. If one side of the bridal party is not South Asian, a less colorful set of clothes for the parents.

    Flickr: buhny / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: buhny

    Notable detail: Dads just wanna blend in.

    24. Fierce bargaining over the groom's shoe, which was stolen earlier in the evening.

    25. An intense, prolonged goodbye between father and daughter during the rukhsati.

    IFC Productions / Via

    Notable detail: She's only going to drive to her hotel room.