25 Things You Inevitably See At A South Asian Wedding

    It's between two and ten days of fun!

    1. A beautiful bride wearing 50 pounds of fabric and jewelry.

    2. An INTENSE dance battle between the groom's side and the bride's side.

    3. The one kid who has never done a choreographed dance before.

    4. One slow dance only. Everything after that is bhangra.

    5. Uncles dancing only with other uncles.

    6. Non-desi dates who are ready to show off their dance moves.

    7. Non-desi dates who are really uncomfortable and want to know if they have to dance.

    8. A groom who has literally never wrapped a pagri before this day.

    Notable details: Somebody else had to tie this for them. Unless they're Sikh, in which case they rock it.

    9. Old ladies who are clearly feeling the groove but refuse to dance.

    10. Old folks making it rain and non-desis wondering how they can get in on that sweet, sweet cash.


    Notable detail: You can ask kids to pick it up off the ground for you.

    11. Jet-lagged family members who just want to sleep.

    12. Friends of the couple who have never worn a sari before.

    13. Uncles who are ready to give life or business advice to ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN.

    14. A painfully color-coordinated couple.

    15. Uncles getting down to Hip-Hop for the first time.


    Notable detail: The DJ was paid to only play bhangra songs but the groom's friends bribed him.

    16. Dupattas that always end up on men's head by the end of the night.

    17. Woman who are able to touch things now that they've taken the henna paste.

    18. Aunties taking photos with their iPads

    19. Aunties ON THE PROWL for potential future in-laws.

    20. A hype squad of aunties that's ready to break ti down with the groom.

    21. Lots of qawwali clapping to the beat.


    Notable detail: Proper technique is full palm-on-palm, fingers splayed.

    22. Massive amounts of shade thrown at the person with the sexiest dance moves.

    23. If one side of the bridal party is not South Asian, a less colorful set of clothes for the parents.

    24. Fierce bargaining over the groom's shoe, which was stolen earlier in the evening.

    25. An intense, prolonged goodbye between father and daughter during the rukhsati.