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    The #GoodMuslimBadMuslim Podcast Hosts Give Hilarious Dating Advice

    "Give me your wallet."

    by ,

    #GoodMuslimBadMuslim is a podcast hosted by Zahra Noorbakhsh (left) and Tanzila "Taz" Ahmed.

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    Zahra is a Bay Area comedian and writer who describes herself as a "Muslim, feminist, Iranian-American comedian, pork-eating, alcohol-drinking, premarital-sex-having-but-married good Muslim." Taz is a Los Angeles-based Bangladeshi-American political activist, writer, and artist.

    The podcast delves into the complicated nature of being a Muslim woman in America, where what is considered good in American circles is bad in Muslim circles and vice versa. You can't win!

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    And which one is the Good Muslim and which one is the Bad Muslim? Zahra says "There's no real good or bad. It's complex."

    The two met after contributing essays to Love Inshallah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women.

    Zahra continues to blog about love and relationships with "My Infidel Husband" and Taz with "Radical Love."

    Naturally, we had to ask them what they would say or do in the following nightmarish dating situations.

    1. At the beginning of a date, he asks "So.... where are you from? No, where are you REALLY from?" What do you say?

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    2. He says “I really dig you, but my situation is…. really complicated.”

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    Taz: "This is like every guy I've ever dated."

    Zahra: "I don't want drama. Might as well get cab fair."

    3. “Are Muslims allowed to have sex?”

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    4. Someone you have a crush on says "You know? You're just so exotic. I love that."

    David Bertozzi / buzzFeed

    Taz: "Oh god. Ugh."

    5. Pickup line: “Your dad must be a terrorist, cause you’re da bomb.”

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    6. You're on a first date. You start talking politics. Dude says "You know what? They should just bomb Iran back to the stone-age."

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    7. You're on a date with a Muslim guy. He says "How can you call yourself Muslim and not wear hijab?"

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    8. You're out to eat at a nice restaurant. The waiter comes over. Your date orders food for you.

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    Taz: "AHHHHH!"

    9. You swipe right, he swipes right. Texting is going fine. Then he sends you a completely unsolicited dick pic.

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    10. "Do you know how to cook Persian/Bangladeshi food? My wife needs to know how to cook as well as my mom."

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    11. Your first date goes great but you decide not to go home with him. He starts ghosting completely.

    David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

    Zahra: I feel like our relationship is just rekindling all over again as a duo.

    Taz: At least we're on message when it comes to stalking. We might not match in other things, but when it comes to stalking men, we're on the same page.

    #GoodMuslimBadMuslim is available on iTunes and Stitcher now.

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