"Don't F*ck With Platypuses" —15 "Cute" Animals That Can Seriously Hurt Or Even Kill You

"You hear the stories about dolphins that rescue people swept out to see, but you never hear about the ones that dolphins pushed out to sea..."

In a recent post shared to r/AskReddit, a site user said "What's a deadly animal most people think are docile?" Here are some of the most-upvoted responses:

Author's note: not all of these are actually deadly, and just because an animal can kill or harm you doesn't mean it's likely to do it unprovoked. Still, it's interesting to see just how powerful and defensive these "cute" animals can be! 

1. "Bison. People have been hurt or killed in Yellowstone Park because they think the bison are slow and dumb and you can take selfies with them."

Layne Kennedy / Getty Images

"In reality, they are quick and powerful but have poor eyesight. As you approach a bison it may not see you until you are close, then it can panic and gore you." 

u/Crafty_Piano_95

"I’ll never forget the horrified look my grandfather got when he told a father trying to set his TODDLER near a bison in Yellowstone, 'You know sir, that’s a good way to get a dead kid.'"

u/ElephantUndertheRug

2. "Hogs will eat you the first chance they get."

Gary John Norman / Getty Images

u/OldERnurse1964

3. "Pretty much any large domestic animal: cattle, sheep, horses, pigs, etc. We’ve bred them to be much more docile than their wild counterparts, and they are. But they are all more than capable of doing lethal harm to a human being under the right circumstances."

Getty Images

"Cattle and horses in particular are quite dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing around them. A well-placed kick can break a leg or leave someone permanently disabled. A lot of people aren’t around livestock and don’t know the basic safety rules, which leads to injury and occasionally death."

u/Sneakys2

4. "Moose."

Hawk Buckman / Getty Images/500px Prime

u/eatafetus632

"Moose were my first thought, too. Moose will f*cking stomp you to death and it's just another Tuesday for them. Everything is an insult and they will charge you about it."

u/Whereswalda

5. "Dolphins."

Westend61 / Getty Images/Westend61

u/TriceratopsHorridus

"Man... dolphins are psychopaths. You hear the stories about dolphins that rescue people swept out to sea, but you never hear about the ones that dolphins pushed out to sea..." 

nubsauce87

6. "Platypuses. They appear harmless but actually have venomous spurs on their hind legs that hurt so bad, they'll make you regret existing. They can even cause paralysis in some cases."

Jason Edwards / Getty Images

"Don't f*ck with platypuses..." 

u/mellowVenison6573

7. "Otters. They're cute, yes, but they're vicious as well. Look up what frustrated males do to otter pups, then come back and tell me they're docile."

Kevin Schafer / Getty Images

u/CraZy_Star_F1sh

"No joke about the otters. They also attack people." 

u/ScrewAttackThis

8. "Swans. They're basically geese that have glammed up."

Marco Scocco / Getty Images

u/CraZy_Star_F1sh

9. "Raccoons. People think they’re like house cats, but they will tear you up and infect you with rabies."

Enn Li Photography / Getty Images

u/Human-Magic-Marker

"Raccoons are also fearless. When we had chickens they were always trying to get into the chicken feed. I’d go out to yell at them and they’d just sit there, calmly eating and watching me. Freaky thumb-having bastards." 

u/zucchiniqueen1

10. "I mean the average house cat can really mess up a person if it wants to. Those claws and teeth can be vicious and really fucking hurt. They can put you in a hospital."

Anita Kot / Getty Images

u/ShitNeedUsername

"Can confirm. Ages ago I had a relatively 'normal' house cat. At some point, I brought home a 'new' kitten that was homeless. My adult cat went into Kill Mode and was about to mess up the poor smaller kitty so I stupidly reached down to pick up the very jacked-up and about-to-pounce cat. I was thinking I'd just put him outdoors.

Bad idea.

It took less than two or three seconds for that adrenaline-fuelled feline to shred both of my arms like a furry buzz saw. It was unbelievable. I was bleeding so badly I had to go to urgent care. And thanks to the saliva it had carefully put on its claws (and was present on its teeth) the wounds were excruciating after becoming very red and angry.

Moral of the story: Don't ever try to pick up a very pissed-off cat."

 u/beauh44x

11. "Reindeer. They cause road accidents."

Tais Policanti / Getty Images

u/Pro_protein

12. "Hippos. They kill more people in Africa than any other wild animal."

Raimund Linke / Getty Images

u/Aggravating-Pound598

"My favorite story about hippos is the one about Pablo Escobar. 'Four hippopotamuses were kept by Pablo Escobar in the late 1970s, and upon his death in 1993 they were allowed to wander his unattended estate. By 2019 their population had grown to approximately one hundred individuals, causing concerns for harming the native flora and fauna in the area; as well as posing significant threat to the human population in the area. They are also referred to as cocaine hippos.'"

u/DeathByBamboo

13. "Chimpanzees."

Suthat_chaitaweesap / Getty Images/iStockphoto

u/_funkapus

14. "Geese = cobra chickens. Geese are evil."

Stefano Madrigali / Getty Images

u/FluffyWienerDog1

15. "Mountain goats."

John Conrad / Getty Images

u/LeoLaDawg

"Uhh, so... when a hiker has to use the bathroom, the goats love to drink the piss and get real aggravated over it.

I honestly wish I was making this up." 

u/igotbanneddd

Shout out to the members of r/AskReddit for having this discussion.

Can you think of any other examples? Let us know in the comments below!