Very British Things That Goldie Lookin Chain Have Sung About

You knows it's NSFW.

The Great British Bake Off.

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A load of people master-baking/Open that oven and ram that cake in.

Take That.

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It's not fair/And I really shouldn't care/But I feel like such a twat/Cos I really like Take That.

"Your Mum" jokes.

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It was purely accidental cos she got me really drunk/And she made me kiss her elephant trunk/You know why?/Your mother's got a penis.

Andy Townsend.

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Pass, shoot, it's a goal/Andy Townsend should be on the dole/Pass, dribble, turn and shoot/When you hear Andy Townsend everybody press mute.

Poor quality hash.

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Soap Bar's cheap/And so's my clothes/They've gotta be cos of all the fucking holes.

Crap home towns.

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Shirley Bassey/She's just like the Queen/Not from Newport/And probably never been.

Crap towns down the road from your crap home town.

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I went around the world/From L.A to Japan/I never found a place with parking quite like Cwmbran.

Eastenders.

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Murder and drugs and killing/You're supposed to watch this shit when you're chillin'.

Novelty Christmas songs.

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It's Christmas Day/The shops are shut/You'll find it difficult to get a haircut.

Life on the dole.

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She's seen me hanging out/She thinks I've got a job/But I couldn't even pay/For the lipgloss on her gob.

Britain.

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I love the weather but we can be bleak/They might empty my bins next week.