1.The bikini top with triangles that you have to continually adjust because they slide around every five seconds, constantly threatening to reveal your nips.
2.The too-loose bikini bottom that sags at the butt, and which you have to hold on to whenever you jump into a pool because it has a high risk of falling off.
3.The top that has removable inserts that you took out once so you could wash it, but now you have to adjust the inserts EVERY SINGLE TIME so they fit correctly and don't make your boobs look polygonal.
4.The bottom that creeps into your butt after about five minutes of wear so you spend the entire time at the beach tugging at both sides. You wonder if this is just the style now and you'll have to resign yourself to showing off your cheeks forevermore, or if you just got the wrong size.
5.The tight, no-frills one-piece that flattens out your bust and leaves red indents where it presses into your hips.
6.The stylish high-waisted bottom that covers you perfectly...except when it comes to the teeny-tiny crotch piece that keeps you from opening your legs, ever.
7.The tankini top that always rides up your belly instead of just staying put.
8.The suit that fits you like no other, and makes you feel like the beautiful, unstoppable beach goddess you are!