10 Custom Tarot Cards For Your Period

You will find the f*cked up truth about your period in these mystical cards.

1. The Fool

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The Fool is about to embark on their period as they have most likely done for years, but somehow, they are still ignorant about how bad it's going to be. The Fool thinks they don't have to keep track of their period or prepare in any way. It'll come whenever. It'll be fine! Maybe this month will be lighter than usual! Yeah, okay, Fool, you dumb idiot.

2. The Wheel of Fortune

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The Wheel of Fortune represents the variety of things that can happen during your period. Will your period be extra long or extra short this month? Will you get more or less cramps? Will you get super bloated? Will you get in a fighting match with the guy who always blocks you in at the gym parking lot again? Only The Wheel knows.

3. The Ace of Cups

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The Ace of Cups is here to inspire you and surround you with love. Oh, no wait, it's a menstrual cup, so it's going to help you collect your period blood, and also be kind of frustrating. Like, how are you supposed to fold that thing and then also get it up there at the right angle? Whatever, you're just trying to be eco-friendly.

4. The Lovers

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Ah, The Lovers. Let me explain what's happening here. As you can see, one of them has their period, so they're having difficulty deciding whether or not they should have sex. Like, they wanted to, but now they're not sure if this is going to complicate things. I mean, it shouldn't, but it seems like the lover on the right is kind of hesitant. I don't know, I'm not involved, I'm just doing my best to interpret this.

5. The Hermit

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The Hermit is who you embody when you're deep in the throes of your period. You don't want to see or talk to anyone except the person delivering the pizza you ordered at 10 pm. You don't want to go outside. You've shed your worldly desire to dress nice, or even presentable. You are The Hermit and The Hermit is you.

6. The Hanged Man

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The Hanged Man is the worst card in the entire deck. He represents men who don't understand the plight of people with periods, and who tell such people to suck it up. The Hanged Man may also insist childbirth pain isn't as bad as getting kicked in the balls. You know what? I'm pulling out all the stops here. The Hanged Man is all men without periods. They will never know.

7. Ten of Swords

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The Ten of Swords – yikes. As you can see, ten swords have been plunged into someone's abdomen! Of course, this is a metaphor for the terrible, horrible, no-good cramps that come with many periods. The Ten of Swords also represents how truly defeated you feel while going through your period. It's not the loveliest card, but it's a good representation, damnit.

8. Death

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Death. That feeling you get when you're at the worst point of your period and you're literally covered in blood and feel like you're dying.

9. Strength

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The Strength card is all about celebrating your period journey. Yeah, that sounds corny as hell, but you deserve to be celebrated after enduring an entire week where your body has wreaked havoc on itself. Yes, maybe you cried a lot, ate a lot of junk food, and got very angry, but you freakin' survived. You are strong! YOU ARE STRONG!!!

10. The Sun

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The Sun is a new beginning; a new day; a day that DOES NOT INCLUDE HAVING YOUR PERIOD. You have moved on, having immediately forgotten how horrible the past week was. You have taken out your bathroom trash with all the dirty tampons and pads. You're excited you're not pregnant! Next month the cycle will continue again, as you transition back into The Fool, having learned absolutely nothing from this experience.