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Can You Please Help Me Get These Ghosts Out Of My House?

Please, they won't stop skateboarding.

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  1. I'm currently writing this from my basement. I'll get right down to it: I think I have a ghost problem in my house. Will you please help me get rid of them so I can once again be at peace?

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    Yes, I accept.
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    Uh...I don't know...
  2. OK. Well, a little background: the ghosts came to my door a week ago. I let them in.

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    Makes sense.
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    That seems like a stupid thing to do.
  3. I immediately regretted it. Those ghosts would not leave. They threw a party. That's when I started camping out down here in the basement. I've been down here ever since.

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    I can't believe they're doing this to you!
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    I've never heard of ghosts throwing a party before, but alright.
  4. I haven't been upstairs except to use the bathroom. Every night as I'm falling asleep, the ghosts blast "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" by Fall Out Boy.

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    Ugh, I hate that song! I'm so sorry.
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    What?
  5. But I don't hear them at all during the day until around 2PM. Sometimes I think they've left the house, but then the afternoon rolls around and they’re all awake.

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    These ghosts are really keeping you on your toes!
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    Last time I checked, ghosts don't sleep...
  6. I hear them this very moment. I hear the sound of their skateboards tearing up my immaculate hardwood floors. I hear their voices cracking as they tell CRUDE jokes.

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    Wow, that sounds traumatizing.
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    Sorry, you're still talking about ghosts, right?
  7. You know what? This is the last straw. I'm going to get rid of those ghosts right now! Do you have any suggestions?

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    Yikes! I think you should call a ghost hunter and wait for them to come to your house.
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    Just go upstairs.
  8. Maybe if I set some kind of trap for them? I noticed the ghosts really like Totino's Pizza Rolls. They've eaten most of mine already.

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    Yes, good idea! Leave a trail of delicious rolls that leads from your house all the way to the nearest ghost jail!
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    These are clearly humans.
  9. OK. I did it. I managed to microwave all the pizza rolls I had left before any ghosts came into the kitchen. But something went wrong!

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    Oh no! Did you encounter a poltergeist?
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    Oh no. Did you burn the pizza rolls?
  10. I was carrying the plate of pizza rolls, and I slipped on one of the ghosts' retainers on the floor! I got so scared that I ran all the way back down here to the basement.

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    Wow! That's unlucky!
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    A retainer? These are not ghosts, these are TEENAGERS.
  11. Oh no. The moment I dreaded the most has come. The ghosts are coming down the stairs, and they're asking me for money! They...they want me to buy something. They're saying something about a senior trip, but I can't make it out...Help!...

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    No! Whatever you do, don't bargain with ghosts! They don't just want your money, they want your soul, too!
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    YOU MORON, THOSE TEENS JUST WANTED TO SELL YOU STUFF BECAUSE THEY'RE RAISING MONEY FOR THEIR SENIOR TRIP. JUST BUY SOMETHING AND THEY'LL GO AWAY.
 
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