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Can You Please Help Me Get These Ghosts Out Of My House?

Please, they won't stop skateboarding.

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  1. I'm currently writing this from my basement. I'll get right down to it: I think I have a ghost problem in my house. Will you please help me get rid of them so I can once again be at peace?

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    Yes, I accept.
    Uh...I don't know...
  2. OK. Well, a little background: the ghosts came to my door a week ago. I let them in.

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    Makes sense.
    That seems like a stupid thing to do.
  3. I immediately regretted it. Those ghosts would not leave. They threw a party. That's when I started camping out down here in the basement. I've been down here ever since.

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    I can't believe they're doing this to you!
    I've never heard of ghosts throwing a party before, but alright.
  4. I haven't been upstairs except to use the bathroom. Every night as I'm falling asleep, the ghosts blast "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" by Fall Out Boy.

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    Ugh, I hate that song! I'm so sorry.
    What?
  5. But I don't hear them at all during the day until around 2PM. Sometimes I think they've left the house, but then the afternoon rolls around and they’re all awake.

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    These ghosts are really keeping you on your toes!
    Last time I checked, ghosts don't sleep...
  6. I hear them this very moment. I hear the sound of their skateboards tearing up my immaculate hardwood floors. I hear their voices cracking as they tell CRUDE jokes.

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    Wow, that sounds traumatizing.
    Sorry, you're still talking about ghosts, right?
  7. You know what? This is the last straw. I'm going to get rid of those ghosts right now! Do you have any suggestions?

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    Yikes! I think you should call a ghost hunter and wait for them to come to your house.
    Just go upstairs.
  8. Maybe if I set some kind of trap for them? I noticed the ghosts really like Totino's Pizza Rolls. They've eaten most of mine already.

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    Yes, good idea! Leave a trail of delicious rolls that leads from your house all the way to the nearest ghost jail!
    These are clearly humans.
  9. OK. I did it. I managed to microwave all the pizza rolls I had left before any ghosts came into the kitchen. But something went wrong!

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    Oh no! Did you encounter a poltergeist?
    Oh no. Did you burn the pizza rolls?
  10. I was carrying the plate of pizza rolls, and I slipped on one of the ghosts' retainers on the floor! I got so scared that I ran all the way back down here to the basement.

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    Wow! That's unlucky!
    A retainer? These are not ghosts, these are TEENAGERS.
  11. Oh no. The moment I dreaded the most has come. The ghosts are coming down the stairs, and they're asking me for money! They...they want me to buy something. They're saying something about a senior trip, but I can't make it out...Help!...

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    No! Whatever you do, don't bargain with ghosts! They don't just want your money, they want your soul, too!
    YOU MORON, THOSE TEENS JUST WANTED TO SELL YOU STUFF BECAUSE THEY'RE RAISING MONEY FOR THEIR SENIOR TRIP. JUST BUY SOMETHING AND THEY'LL GO AWAY.

Can You Please Help Me Get These Ghosts Out Of My House?

You got: You didn't help at all.

You barely did anything. Thanks a lot. The least you can do is go to the store and get me some more pizza rolls so these ghosts will leave me alone for a little while.

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You got: You helped me get the ghosts out!

Thanks a ton! I wouldn't have been able to get my house back from these ghosts without you! And while we're on the subject, I'm starting to wonder if they're even ghosts...

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