5 Ways To Adultify Your Nintendo 64 Experience

Equipment Necessary: One Nintendo 64, Four controllers, and lots and lots of beer. (and Advil for the morning)

For many, Nintendo 64 stands as a symbol not just of relic gaming, but of our childhood. Though it may be collecting dust in some box in the corner of our closets, many of us refuse to sell it. Why? The games are simply timeless, whether it's 007 Goldeneye, Mario Kart, or Super Smash Bros., these games set a precedent followed today by many major game designers. So, in honor of our childhood pastime, let's brush off our old trident controllers, blow into our cartridges and slam them down into their former glory. Here are ways to adultify some of the best games this console has to offer.

Super Smash Bros.

nerdbacon.com / Via drinkinggamezone.com

Drink when you:

1. Lose a life

2. If a player gets the invincibility star, everyone drinks but them, but that player can't use 'R' to throw characters off the map

3. If a character's name is being chanted (because they're dominating), EVERYONE

drink in their honor

4. If you get hit by a bomb-omb

5. if you hit (or get hit) by a bumper

6. if your pokeball has Goldeen in it

7. if you suicide your character, drink double

8. If you get TKO'd by home run bat, chug your drink

After each game, the number of kill each player has is the number of drinks they can give out to other players. Also, the loser has to throw away empty cans as well as refilling other player's drinks. We also encourage wagering drinks on who will win the game, or giving out drinks based on the order everyone finishes in.

From: http://www.drinkinggamezone.com/drinking-games/super-smash-bros/

007 GoldenEye

upload.wikimedia.org!GoldenEye007box.jpg / Via pxlbyte.com

1. Drink every time you die.

2. Drink double every time you die by explosion or suicide.

3. The winner gets to pick someone to take three drinks.

4. All rules are tripled if you play as Oddjob for being a cheating bastard.

5. If you die by a slap/hand chop drink in shame continuously until you forget why you’re drinking.

From: http://pxlbyte.com/gaming/best-video-game-drinking-games/

Mario Kart 64

upload.wikimedia.org

This game is a little different.

There are two goals:

1. finish your beer

2. win the race.

You MUST finish your beer before hitting the finish line on your last lap.

The kicker: You CANNOT drink and drive. You must pull over when you take your sips/chug.

From: My cousin (Hey Nico!)

Pokemon Stadium

upload.wikimedia.org / Via thedrunkenmoogle.com

1. One of your pokemon faints: 3 Sips

2. Your pokemon is inflicted with a status ailment or is affected by the status ailment (burn, paralysis, etc): 1 Sip

3. Your pokemon gets hit by a move that’s “super effective”: 2 Sips

4. Your pokemon gets killed by a move that is “not very effective…”: 5 Sips

5. Your pokemon attacks the opponent with a move thats “not very effective” but doesn’t knock them out: 5 Sips

6. You lose the battle: Finish your beer

From: http://www.thedrunkenmoogle.com/post/638043013/pokemon-drinking-game-so-i-havent-made-a-pokemon

Mario Party

ecx.images-amazon.com / Via barmeister.com

1. Roll the lowest on a turn: 1 Shot of Beer

2. Land on Bowser: 1 Shot of Beer

3. Get a star: Everyone else takes 1 shot of beer

4. In a regular 4 person game at the end of each round: Everyone except the winner takes 1 shot of beer

5. Lose a 2 on 2 minigame: Take 2 shots of beer per person

6. In a 1 on 3 minigame, if the solo person loses: Take 3 shots of beer

7. In a 1 on the minigame, if the 3 people lose: Take 1 shot of beer each

8. 4th Place In a Battle Game: Take 3 shots of beer

9. 3rd Place In a Battle Game: Take 2 shots of beer

10. 2nd Place In a Battle Game: Take 1 shot of beer

From: http://www.barmeister.com/games/rules/3598/?o=by_category