1. Himself. DOUBLE ENTENDRE, SON!
2. A Borderline Racist Portrayal of A Rapper That We All Laugh At Anyway Because We Really Wanted To Like This Movie And Now We’re Halfway Through And It’s Not As Funny As We Hoped But Maybe Our Expectations Were Too High Coming Into It
3. This Guy:
4. A Former Athlete Turned Sports Reporter.
After a successful four-year college football career at San Diego State, hometown hero Glenn Johnson suffered a devastating injury during his _____th year as starting _____ for the Chargers (because in movies, you always get drafted by your hometown), forcing him to retire prematurely. After football, Johnson became involved in a variety of local business ventures, most notably opening a chain of popular steakhouses, appropriately named Glenn Johnson's Popular Steakhouse.
Unfortunately, Johnson lost it all, including the steakhouses, after making an ill-advised bet during a wild weekend in Vegas with good friend Chris Collinsworth.
After a botched suicide attempt (turns out you can take waaaay more than one One A Day vitamin without dying), Johnson was offered a job as a sports reporter at a local news station. A rival local news station…