We come into this world, assumed from the start that we are straight, just like we're assumed to have ten fingers and ten toes (we hope). As if being straight is a physical part of who we are as human beings. Nobody "comes out" straight because you're SUPPOSED to be straight when you're born. Apparently. According to…who though exactly? From birth, straight people are given rights. Rights that to them seem like nothing such as holding hands in public, telling their parents they're dating, kissing whenever they want. The gay community has to fight for what the hetero's are already given from birth, as if they're district one in the Hunger Games. My anger has turned to fury, as I watch straight couples do things I find almost ludicrous. These rights have turned them into serial dating, fast moving, sex hungry, animals that have lost all concept of love and instead only focus on "mate for life, mate for life".
Call me crazy, but when did it become okay to establish feelings for another human being and immediately call them a boyfriend after not even a week? Better yet, when did it become okay to bring them home to the parents for an entire weekend after you just admitted to yourself that you actually had feelings for them?
People wonder why the divorce rate is 50/50, it's not rocket science, you're just doing it all wrong. It infuriates me that people, mainly women, revolve their entire life around finding a mate. Finding a guy who meets the 100 item checklist of expectations and having the $100k wedding and the 2.4 kids and the white picket fence. Is that really what society has taught our generation? Is that bliss? It's fuckin not, and here's why: where is the love?
Most true love stories are about two people that practically ran right into each other without even trying. So stop conjuring up guy friends who have good qualities and dating them because they're a suitable husband. Stop fucking sleeping with hot guys because "you need to get laid." We aren't fucking animals.
You don't take the time to get to know each other. You see the perfectly coiffed hair cut and beautifully trimmed beard, the rolex watch and the family house in Rhode Island and think, bliss! You don't take into consideration that he may have a bad past, has a history of cheating, is in serious debt and is duller and dumber than a bag of rocks. Women see men as a package, not a person. Gay couples see each other for who they really are and help one another with every fear whether it's past or present and are there for them like a partner in life should be. Gay couples are called partnerships because that is exactly what they are. Partners in life. Because life is fucking hard and you shouldn't go it alone. So gay couples meet and become great friends and learn everything about one another and build a trust and take their time. My SO and I established feelings for one another and didn't really consider ourselves officially in a relationship until almost eight months later. I was a fast mover myself and her fear is the best thing that has ever happened to me as a person and us as a couple. Because it forced us to take our time. TIME PEOPLE. What is the fucking rush? You aren't dying! Time allows you to heal wounds, work through fears and issues and establish a concrete trust between one another that will last.
TAKE YOUR TIME. This whole thing about meeting at a party, talking for hours and walking home in a daze thinking they're the one is pure bull shit. You are the one creating that fantasy honey, not reality. You're thinking well we have this in common and that in common, and oh my god we're both lefties, it's fate! Then you go out on a date and you call yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend and boom a year later you're in engaged. Where in that year did you actually get to know that person as a real human being? Do you know about their past? Their fears? Their insecurities? Were you there for them while they worked through it? Did you stand by their side no matter how hard it got instead of yelling and pitching a fit because you weren't getting your way? Time, people. You're taking for granted what society spoon feeds you from birth. Homosexual couples fight and die for those kinds of privileges daily, so when we get them? We hold on tight and cherish and appreciate them. So you know maybe, maybe we have it better than you. Because when we finally get to hold our SO's hand in public without sneers, we never let go. And when we finally have our parents approval, we'll be beaming from the inside out. And the moment we say our I do's in front of the people who supported us from day one, you can bet we'll mean every last word.
You cannot force love. Love is forced upon you. Love isn't common interests, it's the same morals and values. So whether you two both love hockey or one loves football and the other likes tennis, it really doesn't fucking matter. Because what it comes down to is how you two both view the world. And if you can agree on that, you'll always be connected. Find someone you never get sick of talking to. Find someone you can talk to all day and still have stuff to talk about at night for hours. Laugh with each other, be there for one another. Learn everything there is to know about them inside and out. Compromise, understand, support. These are the keys to a lasting relationship. Don't find someone who looks like your person, find someone who your soul speaks to. Your soul will always be right.
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