Snarky (And Probably Inappropriate) Responses Adoptees Want To Say, But Don't

Adoptees get asked the most asinine questions by total strangers and sometimes even by members of their own adoptive family. Generally, because adoptees are good people, they refrain from saying what they really want to say. And if adoptees are like us, they stop short of uttering equally ridiculous sentiments, such as the following. (A big thanks to Christina Majaski, the snarkiest adoptee blogger out there, for compiling these with us.)

Question 1: Aren't you just so grateful to be adopted?

Answer 1: No, I won the hunger games and all I got was this shit.

Answer 2: I ate all the other babies.

Question 2: You have your a mom's eyes or dads eye brows, don't you?

Answer: And you clearly have a small penis.

Question 3: Where are you from?

Answer: Through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops...

Question 4: Do your parents have real kids?

Answer 1: The dingo ate the real kids.

Answer 2: Yes, your teeth smell like farts.

Question 5: Why didn't your "real" mom want to keep you?