5 Reasons Dolphins Are Not Cute

We are all familiar with Flipper the Dolphin who saved the Coral Key Park and Marine Preserve many times, and now we all think dolphins are cute. However, they are lying to you! Here is why:

5. Blowhole Jobs

aquaticmammalsjournal.org

Yes...blowhole jobs. I mean just look at the picture, I need not explain this.

Not cute!

4. Baby Dolphin Volleyball

Via dailymail.co.uk

Ever heard of volleyball? Yeah, so have dolphins. In fact, they love volleyball so much that they are willing to kill baby other baby dolphins to use them as the ball; volleying it until it ultimately dies.

Not cute!

3. Every day is Hump Day for Dolphins

Dolphins are the dogs of the sea.

"Whose leg do you have to hump do get a dry martini around here?"

No cute!

2. ST(D²) (Sexually Transmitted Diseased Dolphins) WHY, FLIPPER?!?!

forms.asm.org

Is there no end to their horniness!? Now you're telling me that Flipper not only played dolphin baby volleyball, but she also was carrying dolphin-herpes?!? Right in the childhood!

Not cute!

1. "Hey Flipper, give me a puff."

natureworldnews.com

We know dolphins kill other dolphins for sport, but surely they must value other forms of life. Nope! Dolphins have been reported biting pufferfish, a fish with a very lethal toxin, and passing it around for a narcotic-like effect. A**holes.

There you have it folks. Flipper, the baby dolphin-killing, STD ridden, drug addict.

Not cute!

Save the Dolphins

Even after finding these articles I still love dolphins, and the fishing of dolphins must come to an end (or dolphins will no longer be able to enjoy a friendly game of Baby-Dolphin Volleyball.)

Here is a website where you can help!

Save the Dolphins in Japan