10 Things You Should Never Tell Your Child

"What were you thinking?" "You're not even trying!" Parents aren't perfect — we all wish we could take back some of the harsh things we've said. But here are 10 phrases from our readers that parents of ADHD kids should absolutely, positively never say out loud.

1. 'You're Stupid.'

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"Are you really that stupid/lazy/crazy? Stop being so lazy! You know what you're doing! How many times do I have to show you? Etc. etc. etc." – Renae

"Stupid, dumb, retarded anything that attacks them personally. 'Always' is a word I try to avoid. I try my best, but we have an understanding that, just like my son gets overwhelmed, sometimes mom does, too. We use my mistakes as learning tools." – Kathy

Low self-esteem and shame impact many children with ADHD who spend their school days struggling to fit a round peg into a square hole. Boost your child's confidence with these tips.

2. 'I Love You, But...'

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"Never, ever say '...but...' it should be 'I love you AND I can't let you...,' or, 'You made a bad choice AND I love you enough to...'" – Elyzabeth

"I always pause at the 'but' because I know the second I let it out, he takes all the negative to heart. AND is a great, practical alternative!" –Jennifer

"When a child with ADHD receives a drop or two of praise, it's like rain in the desert. He drinks it in, revels in it," says Dr. Ned Hallowell. Here are his tips for using positive reinforcement more effectively.

3. 'Why Can't You Be Normal?'

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"Why can't you be like the other kids?" – Trischia

"Don't ever say 'What's wrong with you?!'" – Eleanor

"Never ever tell them, 'You're not normal.' That is horrible. I have heard it said to a kid, and it totally pissed me off!" – Christina

The social struggles faced by many children with ADHD stem from a feeling of being different and standing out — in a not-so-good way — from the other kids at school. Teach your child that his differences make him interesting and give him the social skills to make friends with other kids who will appreciate his strengths.

4. 'If Only You'd Apply Yourself...'

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"I try not to say, 'If you'd only apply yourself,' and 'Just focus.' It doesn't work that way with ADHD." – Janet

"You're not even trying." –Mikala

"I was always asked, 'You're so smart and talented! Why can't you just do the work?' My answer was always, 'I don't know.' [Insert long, confusing conversation and emotional meltdown here.]"

– Bridget

Focus is not a matter of willpower for kids and adults with ADHD. It is controlled by brain chemistry. The ADHD brain makes fewer neurotransmitters, like dopamine, which control focus and mood. 'Trying harder' won't change that, but diet and exercise can help.

5. 'Clearly, You Didn't Take Your Meds Today.'

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"Everyone in my house including myself has gotten used to saying,'You didn't take your medicine today did you?' or 'We should've given you your medicine today.' It really hurts his feelings, so we've been trying to correct everyone from doing that." – Mandy

Though ADHD symptoms are sparked by brain chemistry, your child need not feel powerless against them. Teach her about the neurological and physical benefits of a high-protein, low-sugar diet, as well as regular exercise and ADHD-friendly vitamins and supplements.

6. 'I Wouldn't Wish an ADHD Child on Anyone.'

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"Worse than, 'I hope you have kids just like yourself,' is, 'I wouldn't wish kids like you on anyone.' That's traumatizing to hear." – Rayne

"Don't ever question your ADHD daughter's ability to become a parent. She'll waste most of her life believing she 'shouldn't' because she can't handle it." – Julie

Justin Timberlake has it. So does Tatum Channing, Lisa Ling and Karina Smirnoff. In fact, the list of really accomplished people — and parents — with ADHD is long. Share it with your child and challenge him to reach for the stars.

Read the rest of the hurtful things that should never slip out of a parent of an ADHD child's mouth here.