3 Things That Need To Be Protested In Washington IMMEDIATELY!

Forget equality, forget immigration, forget the NSA spying on you. Let's focus on what really matters. It's time to hold Uncle Sam responsible!

1. No more dirt!

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Who can think of one good thing that came from dirt? Our point exactly! Think how much bath water is wasted trying to get dirt off people. Think of all the nasty insects and rodents that live in dirt. There are countless of dead corpses lying in it in cemeteries all over the world! According to NASA, soil only accounts for about 10% of the earth's total makeup. So what are we waiting for Washington? Let's get rid of all dirt, we can do this!

2. Snow should be warmer!

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This is a no brainer. According to nursingtimes.net, over 24,000 people died from cold winter in 2011. How many times were you like, "Geez Mr. President, we're sick and tired of cold snow," but your heartfelt plea only fell on deaf congressional ears. It's time the government took some responsibility here and listened to the American people. Do what's best for your country you political hacks! Where's the humanity????

3. Get rid of friction!

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Friction is mankind's worst enemy. According to statisticsbrain.com there were 25,580 fatal car crashes in 2012. These events happen most likely on Saturdays (19%) as opposed to Mondays (12%). Friction is the resistance an object (like a car) experiences when it encounters an opposing force (like another car) and is the main deterrent of inertia, and as we all know, inertia is the reason the earth is still revolving around the sun. If the earth stopped revolving, life as we know it would cease to exist. Seriously? Why is our government sitting on its fat derriere doing nothing when the entire world could end. We need to end the stalemate in Washington, and get rid of friction. Problem solved people.