19.That's if you can even eat your meal without a damn seagull coming and stealing it from you.
20.And want to dry off after a dip in the ocean? WELL TOO FUCKING BAD.
21."But the beach is so relaxing!" you argue. HOW IS BEING SURROUNDED BY HUNDREDS OF SWEATY, HALF-NAKED HUMANS RELAXING?
22.Plus, people at the beach do things like take pictures with a tablet while standing in the water AND DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE AROUND THAT KIND OF PERSON?
23.And there are always at least a few people with amazing beach bodies who basically exist just to make you feel inadequate.
24.Although chances are you won't even be able to see them because of the blinding sun.
25.Plus, the beach is actually REALLY DANGEROUS AND FUCKED UP.
26.LOOK AT WHAT THESE BARNACLES DID TO THESE SUNGLASSES.
29.Basically, the beach is a ruthless son of a bitch who doesn't give a fuck about how your ~*cool beach trip*~ goes. It just wants to ruin your fucking day.
And that's why you should stay the hell away from the beach.
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