Get Ready To Laugh: 91 Tweets From Black Twitter This Month Will Have You Rolling On The Floor
"Finer than the print of a Diddy contract"
1.
It looks like Michael is saying “Is this what you want? Well I’m telling you right now, you’ll never get it.” https://t.co/C5eWVQTJXV
— Dai ✨ (@ThatsForAIITime) September 4, 2023
2.
We don’t get healthcare y’all don’t get final form Beyoncé. The game is the game. https://t.co/5iNwLH7cPf
— Jacques 🇯🇲 (@jimbojd4) September 4, 2023
3.
And nothing for Farrah https://t.co/Y76Ul10NeY pic.twitter.com/cDZU9qy935
— Rossi 👼🏽 (@RossiSongo) September 5, 2023
4.
When us girls warned you to stay away from straight men who know how to pronounce Loewe, you didn’t listen. Now look at you! Shoeless!
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) September 3, 2023
5.
this really how teachers be https://t.co/ygqpEY27js
— cousin faith (@wetsykcin) September 5, 2023
6.
The Riddler after trying oxtail once: https://t.co/8qZZPn0Tsw pic.twitter.com/YZpcCFfDHr
— Waiting To Oxtail (@ThatDudeMCFLY) September 5, 2023
7.
Back to the milk, our boy is back 🩷 https://t.co/3idjn0vNpO
— fragrance and foolishness (@Brieyonce) September 5, 2023
8.
That baby dumb!!!! Why they hand the wrong way? https://t.co/mHEhCq0YbO
— KahleighComedy (@BigJunieKC) September 5, 2023
9.
Need this knife to cut the cost of living https://t.co/SpXOlbXfZz
— nezhDINHO 🇧🇷 (@nezhnopapi) September 5, 2023
10.
Imagine supporting a lady who stole your husband and got you kicked out the group smh……. https://t.co/9RiXGrDf8m
— Love from the planet Mars (@oliviaknowpe) September 6, 2023
11.
When It Says It Feeds 3-4 People But You Ended Up Finishing It By Yourself pic.twitter.com/bQ2a01BLsU
— KenKen (@KensBestLyfe) September 6, 2023
12.
Not the battle of the white mom biracials https://t.co/NAsbFXVU5t
— I Could’ve Just Sat On In With Massa (@WrittenByHanna) September 7, 2023
13.
They gotta charge it to the game sorry he’s in Madagascar now. While you were standing around doing NISH, he was cosplaying a cook and strapping himself to a van like Mission Impossible. https://t.co/PqVXosuYK5
— CEO of Yelling FRSA (@ChantayyJayy) September 7, 2023
14.
omg even the babies getting whacked with these New Braid prices https://t.co/EexDjTQyyV
— bunny boo (@SashaZhane) September 7, 2023
15.
Tigers being the real kings of the jungle but never getting the title bc lions have a blonde blow out will never sit right with me smh https://t.co/Wj2nYRxo8S
— Jannifer Gao 🌶 (@Jani__Gee) September 6, 2023
16.
Me trying to get my cousin’s attention so we can go smoke pic.twitter.com/tDg46mXg9Q
— 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗘𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗨𝗘𝗟 (@CharlesEmanuel_) September 7, 2023
17.
Find a school bus in the morning and just get on it. https://t.co/cYjvwDJ3fW
— thee houston hairstylist🌻 (@desdollas) September 7, 2023
18.
I knew Cardi was the one doing the bending.. https://t.co/CrZz2jrRsT
— BAVY (@itsbavy) September 8, 2023
19.
i know a black man named eugene is having a time in indiana https://t.co/WB3VO88bHW
— X. D. (@XavierDLeau) September 8, 2023
20.
me when the zombie apocalypse starts https://t.co/18idZYnGOi
— miguel (@tundemason) September 9, 2023
21.
29° is way too hot for sept sorry, this is silly, not having it. pic.twitter.com/kV07Phf8Xi
— Ms.DND (@rickaeya) September 9, 2023
22.
They play Knuck if you buck, ship finna be underwater https://t.co/fYUIRfk3H6
— xaria 🦋 (@sayxaria) September 9, 2023
23.
It’s giving a black employee took over the account for this occasion 😭 https://t.co/u2qhR10uY0
— Sylvia (@SylviaObell) September 9, 2023
24.
SECURITYGWORLLLLL https://t.co/gxjv6rUGA9
— Rita (@ritadashash) September 8, 2023
25.
rich aunties love a little bop and point 😂 https://t.co/Corfi9jl30
— in charge of the girls (@AmeriKraut) September 9, 2023
26.
Raven Baxter would eat this up https://t.co/uwUgOiSNkY
— THE FÆ OF MOOKZ (@NERDYBRATZDOLL) September 7, 2023
27.
Hope she go visit Tory and do this on the other side of the glass. https://t.co/1GJCBeNT01
— K. (@makillaaa) September 7, 2023
28.
Even scarier than the Nun II.
— Redza Mentadu (@RedzaKelkatu) September 9, 2023
😭😭 pic.twitter.com/u58xMxvI4x
29.
Her giggling through this is SENDING me. Coco quite literally said— https://t.co/c9U8THhRXv pic.twitter.com/VYFAeCRtzg
— issa rae’s favorite interviewer. (@TheGreatIsNate) September 10, 2023
30.
lobster ain’t even woke up yet https://t.co/guSK9F79l2
— it’s us (@501Flame) September 10, 2023
31.
"COME IN HERE AND GET Y'ALL'S JUICE” https://t.co/4L01gBiBQV
— Ooooo. Weeee. (@UsernameSsSuck) September 10, 2023
32.
When she’s thicker in person: https://t.co/Oy8mjERmjW
— Hercules (@kNo_Mercy) September 10, 2023
33.
Kieron’s face each time Dushane or Sully asked him a question #TopBoy #TopBoyNetflix pic.twitter.com/CHa9kLJ6jv
— Jay (@trillymayne) September 8, 2023
34.
That the person pouring the wine is foolish https://t.co/mVCdbxBXVb
— Ichigo Kurosaki (@theonlyblvc) September 10, 2023
35.
Right. Very good 👍🏾 https://t.co/7K7WEMncmz
— C (@brandypapii) September 11, 2023
36.
chile let me start watching the nba https://t.co/hEUltt7r9V
— hausoftáy (@colormetaay) September 11, 2023
37.
No one:
— db 🖤 (@dbcxptures) September 12, 2023
Kirk Franklin: https://t.co/RhB4173l6t
38.
And y’all say she never dates men of color https://t.co/qeyFMKB0r6
— Heben Nigatu (@hebennigatu) September 12, 2023
39.
this look like an episode of Empire man lmao https://t.co/ZBLqQ51wSk
— Yan Snead (@YanSnead) September 13, 2023
40.
please get this paper mache E.T out my face 😭 https://t.co/jkwbx187k2
— Pillsbury DoughDyke (@himbo_chico) September 13, 2023
41.
Don’t buy Drake tickets from Temu pic.twitter.com/3m4wVkKYNF
— i make beats ✞ (@DonDadaNYC) September 11, 2023
42.
Lmaoooo this is giving queen Latifa in Bringing down the house 😂 https://t.co/Hyr0OPhjOj
— IG: Fern6ndez (@FernandezGordon) September 14, 2023
43.
When my manager asks me why I’ve been talking to other teams about PM role openings within the company pic.twitter.com/u3VgilHtlf
— ? (@BoredAtGym) September 14, 2023
44.
Me to the Ghanaian caterers when the white man makes better waakye than them https://t.co/lRj33bzKeB pic.twitter.com/ikgy2TGrsy
— GN (@_Greazemoden) September 14, 2023
45.
This why I don’t support black business. https://t.co/ah8at72E2B
— Luke C-Walker (@SuaveBry) September 16, 2023
46.
"Thank you for applying the above position. After careful consideration, we have decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications more closely fit this specific role." pic.twitter.com/3whNGVNQ96
— Logic (@The1stGentleman) September 20, 2023
47.
I know logic in his DMs begging for the method https://t.co/2AqJXjSZhw
— BASED SAVAGE (@crackcobain__) September 21, 2023
48.
melanin too dark to throw her shade!!! https://t.co/UOB5NVZ96o
— zae (@itszaeok) September 21, 2023
49.
staring the sephora employee in the eye as i ‘sample’ the $500 fragrance pic.twitter.com/pzQVr5RUfV
— yasmin (@ycsm1n) September 20, 2023
50.
I just know Rumi be in that house asking “well where’s my song?” https://t.co/puTznkJEhH
— Globethotter 🌍 (@BrianMcLight) September 20, 2023
51.
Rihanna ain’t have to eat up her entire family like this 😂😍 pic.twitter.com/w2AWWqQFHE
— Sylvia (@SylviaObell) September 19, 2023
52.
Close enough… you got a gf? https://t.co/cWfXWXGKHe
— Hate account 🇬🇩 (@IGoBySJ) September 18, 2023
53.
someone said cost of shagging crisis🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/0r8k3oL3cB
— tendy🍒 (@tendsk) September 18, 2023
54.
Knees was fresh out the box https://t.co/6db7gsOmJp
— Huey Freeman (@bread_maker7) September 19, 2023
55.
A burn out recovery story ❤️ https://t.co/5PAUHkTpZh
— duchess of maxwell (@originaldussard) September 19, 2023
56.
DISTRICT 12 HOE ! https://t.co/Wg0bEmhyzN
— z (@internetgutz) September 17, 2023
57.
They saw everyone divorcing and said “y’all be safe” fairs. https://t.co/D3voGfpLdL
— Jason Okundaye (@jasebyjason) September 18, 2023
58.
The Last Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci (1498) https://t.co/I8UWSzl5T6
— natty kasambala (@nattykasambala) September 18, 2023
59.
Just ordered A Seat at the Table off Temu pic.twitter.com/XrzWH8Endt
— I Could’ve Just Sat On In With Massa (@WrittenByHanna) September 22, 2023
60.
Depending on the kinda day I had, dat bitch best be scared of ME! https://t.co/RHs57dKzpG
— Barti (@prettybartier) September 21, 2023
61.
A glass pot is crazy give the food some privacy https://t.co/wpIGkT2Loz
— Q🦦 (@youcancallmeQ_) September 22, 2023
62.
Shìt went triple platinum in the hood 😭😭 https://t.co/SrF1hsbAGL
— 🇯🇲🇭🇹 Sexyy Red stan account The Sony Sniper 📸 (@StretchMyBandz) September 22, 2023
63.
Apple Pay feels like play money, but it’s not pic.twitter.com/VhbK28976G
— Serena's Racquet (@kendalljamaal) September 21, 2023
64.
the rainbow will be tasting you 🫶🏾 rest easy https://t.co/fYo9yHrm9I
— corrie the sex appeal demon 🖤 (@NOLAGOTH) September 22, 2023
65.
Grammarly https://t.co/uVjWE9tE3T
— SEXY liar✨ (@indicabadux) September 21, 2023
66.
The black one https://t.co/XyS1BVxH7A
— 40 year old Virginia Slims (@Kyla_Lacey) September 22, 2023
67.
Close enough. Can y’all get in the CAR, and ride SLOW, do some things that the girls don’t DO…? https://t.co/Xskoih2yS7
— jr (@jamesearl23) September 23, 2023
68.
Airfryers took all their corners https://t.co/NyJeUtgwwb pic.twitter.com/flwjNchAOQ
— wind your neck in (@MrLastMinute_) September 23, 2023
69.
It started raining as i started getting dressed for gym. God, I hear you. pic.twitter.com/5ADqNh1t6M
— kwesi (@kingkwesi_) September 22, 2023
70.
ALL THE LADIES IF YOU FEEL ME HELP ME SING IT OUT https://t.co/WTs1Z5Gx36
— invader min (@honeyinterludes) September 23, 2023
72.
This what lil mama thought she looked like standing up there https://t.co/lLjq6slfdX
— likkle miss pulpy (@yagirltoomuch) September 24, 2023
73.
When Olivia found Huck at union station: https://t.co/SPIbr3l7bZ
— cry baby. (@ChipdNudePolish) September 24, 2023
74.
Me when I sneak into the Super Bowl to see Usher pic.twitter.com/GNO59KI5pJ
— nat ✨ (@laugh_track_nat) September 24, 2023
75.
Congrats to everybody in Houston who got to see Beyoncé & Megan tonight. Y’all won 💔 pic.twitter.com/OAMXuihOMH
— Drebae (@Drebae_) September 24, 2023
76.
me and babe after the musiq soulchild concert pic.twitter.com/OGKcOthxPZ
— 🎭 Master Cheef 🦁 (@talentharris) September 25, 2023
77.
This how I feel when I got a lot on my to-do list https://t.co/TcYPorpd2S
— Mik (@OkSoMik) September 25, 2023
78.
she was the baddest, he was the realest pic.twitter.com/7YPzq9R57n
— Al Shipley (@alshipley) September 25, 2023
79.
She should also launch an air conditioner line. Call it 'Alicia Breeze'. https://t.co/2bbrPn73WW
— Moses Rudende (@rudende) September 25, 2023
80.
Finer than the print on a Diddy contract. 🤎 https://t.co/IDsILW81Xs
— BlueSky: @SosoTheWanderer 🔆 (@SosoTheWanderer) September 25, 2023
81.
If 6 of y’all went out then 4 of you are really cheap cuz only 2 of you had dinner I found your credit card receipt https://t.co/bBhQWqKb7R
— ✨Glitch McConnell ✨ (@Glamazon1026) September 25, 2023
82.
Arnold every summer when that glass roof start cookin him https://t.co/KlJj0HBqqB pic.twitter.com/T4zrrwIwre
— s (@superskrong) September 23, 2023
83.
Viola’s Groove https://t.co/oD9NhL0DNi
— Skinny Legend (@sta_schemin) September 27, 2023
84.
i’m sorry but shreks swamp being a “luxury getaway” is insulting to his struggle. he was driven there by hate https://t.co/4PmWuqiTYU
— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) September 26, 2023
85.
https://t.co/eNwDfVPLtO pic.twitter.com/jdlg8MhBll
— NightSkin🍫 (@Tricey_J_) September 26, 2023
86.
Chloe x Halle 😍 https://t.co/jg1FfLwyUc
— a (@albertoutspoken) September 26, 2023
87.
Sick + Laugh = Not sick https://t.co/tABhi6q2Xl
— james. (@dontcallmeJJ) September 27, 2023
88.
Let me start putting a few Ushbucks to the side https://t.co/y6wwxKqFot
— Beauty Cornucopia (@nicothemaestro) September 27, 2023
89.
Black People math: https://t.co/W2odukcvMb
— 🌿O.G. Botanist Johnson 🌿 (@Thugg_Speedman) September 26, 2023
90.
Look around everybody on mute! https://t.co/Cig1WyXx73
— The Morally Corrupt Tay Resnick (@SweetTayPie0104) September 26, 2023
91.
They look like they about to fuck Gotham UP https://t.co/I3He0byfXV
— Meech (@MediumSizeMeech) September 27, 2023