14 Times You’re Scientifically More At Risk From The Bogeyman

Not trying to scare you or anything, you just need to be prepared…

1. When washing your face.

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For the love of God, DON’T CLOSE YOUR EYES.

2. Or even worse… showering.

Best just not to wash ever again.

3. When taking your jumper off.

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If you can do it in less than three milliseconds, you should be ok.

4. When vacuuming.

The longer you do it, the longer he has to approach undetected.

5. Or when blow drying your hair.

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It’s the perfect distraction from whoever’s creeping up behind you AND drowns out the footsteps.

6. When your foot sticks out from under the covers.

7. When opening and closing blinds, curtains, doors, screens…

9. When watching a scary film.

It’s like bogeyman bait.

10. When you’re within a 20 mile radius of a cellar, graveyard, cabin, or the woods.

11. Plus, it turns out, when you’re writing about the bogeyman on Buzzfeed.

12. And everyone knows the chances are multiplied by 100 if you’re home alone.

Best to cower in a corner until someone comes back.

13. Or in the dark.

14. And finally, the moment you’re scientifically most at risk? Whatever you do, DO NOT use the bathroom during the night. You’re just asking for it if you do that.

Yes. You are correct. That is a ‘toilet owl’.

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