These Two Dietitians Tried Your Diet And Almost Vommed

They're two bad ass opinionated dietitians who are just plain tired of debunking bull-shit nutrition myths put out there by uneducated bloggers and celebrities.

First is the ubiquitous green juice- the one Abbey and Abby tested was called “Liquid Plumber”. Thankfully, these ladies were classy enough to let us skip the bathroom horror scene later, but I think it's safe to say that the name sums that experience up quite well. This $9 bottle of putrid pureed vegetables is the ultimate foodie punishment. We like kale, why mutilate it in an expensive drink that resembles swamp water? Plus, whole vegetables have beneficial fibres which are pulled out of that detox crap.

Abbey and Abby’s advice? Just eat your damn vegetables. Chew them! Swallow them! For god’s sake, put some cheese or butter on top and enjoy them!

Next is everyone’s favourite online multi-level marketing product – Shakeology. Okay, aside from the obvious fact that we want to Facebook un-friend anyone who promotes this crap, we also just want to puke when we watch Abbey and Abby attempt to choke this down. Apparently, a $4 pack of this chocolate flavoured ground up chalk is marketed as a meal - with only 160 calories. Uh. Yah, if you're eating 160 calories of powder and calling it dinner, you're likely a) severely undernourished and b) living a sad, lonely life. For the same caloric content, you could have a beautiful green salad with avocado and chicken and not cry yourself to sleep at night in anticipation of the next day’s breakfast. Also, the ingredient list is pretty scary. As Abbey now famously states, "This is like Gwenyth Paltrow's grocery list and it's scaring the sh*t out of me."

Excuse us as we do another round of facebook blocks. Shakeology users, watch out.

And finally, Abbey and Abby test out Freelee the Banana girl's Raw Til 4 diet and whip up one of her infamous 1000-calorie breakfast shakes. First of all, Freelee? Where do we even start. This YouTube celebrity self professed "diet guru" developed the now famous Raw Til 4 diet that requires one to eat only raw vegan ingredients all day long, and then tuck into a cooked meal for dinner.

It guess it wouldn't be SO bad (yay, pizza for dinner err'day!) but Freelee takes it another step further down the crazy lane. In Freelee's world, you pretty much just eat fruit and wash it down with more fruit (aka. 7 bananas in your breakfast shake). The thought alone makes us want a cheeseburger. Now, we're all for getting your carbs in, but any breakfast with more than 15 teaspoons of sugar that's not a once-per-year cronut is just not okay. Seriously, it's no wonder people online are pissed that they're blowing up like balloons on her so-called "weight loss" regime.

Go fruit yourself Freelee.