These Two Dietitians Tried Your Diet And Almost Vommed

Dietitians base their recommendations on the latest science, so when they read about another bogus fad diet being peddled by some rando on Facebook, there tends to be a lot of eye rolling. But to really understand the good, the bad, and the ugly of these quick fix weight loss trends, dietitians Abbey Sharp and Abby Langer decided to try them out. Let's just say, there was a lot of ugly.

When two top media dietitians get together, they don't talk about the food guide, they bitch about the stupid diets you're probably attempting right now.

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Introducing Abbey Sharp and Abby Langer

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They're two bad ass opinionated dietitians who are just plain tired of debunking bull-shit nutrition myths put out there by uneducated bloggers and celebrities.

Back in January, they let a camera into their usual "girl talk" sesh and the result were hilarious.

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Thinking of going raw? The alkaline diet? Master cleanse? The butter coffee diet? You may want to watch this first.

The Next Step - a Diet Taste Test

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This is where shit hits the fan. We actually speculate literally after all of those cleanses but let's not even go there.

Abbey & Abby listened to your advice and decided to try some of these popular diets including Shakeology, a Liquid Plummer juice detox, and Freelee the Banana girl's Raw Til 4.

Get that pepto bismol handy, folks.

Liquid Plumber Detox Juice

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First is the ubiquitous green juice- the one Abbey and Abby tested was called “Liquid Plumber”. Thankfully, these ladies were classy enough to let us skip the bathroom horror scene later, but I think it's safe to say that the name sums that experience up quite well. This $9 bottle of putrid pureed vegetables is the ultimate foodie punishment. We like kale, why mutilate it in an expensive drink that resembles swamp water? Plus, whole vegetables have beneficial fibres which are pulled out of that detox crap.

Abbey and Abby’s advice? Just eat your damn vegetables. Chew them! Swallow them! For god’s sake, put some cheese or butter on top and enjoy them!

Shakeology

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Next is everyone’s favourite online multi-level marketing product – Shakeology. Okay, aside from the obvious fact that we want to Facebook un-friend anyone who promotes this crap, we also just want to puke when we watch Abbey and Abby attempt to choke this down. Apparently, a $4 pack of this chocolate flavoured ground up chalk is marketed as a meal - with only 160 calories. Uh. Yah, if you're eating 160 calories of powder and calling it dinner, you're likely a) severely undernourished and b) living a sad, lonely life. For the same caloric content, you could have a beautiful green salad with avocado and chicken and not cry yourself to sleep at night in anticipation of the next day’s breakfast. Also, the ingredient list is pretty scary. As Abbey now famously states, "This is like Gwenyth Paltrow's grocery list and it's scaring the sh*t out of me."

Excuse us as we do another round of facebook blocks. Shakeology users, watch out.

Raw Til 4 (Freelee the Banana girl shake)

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And finally, Abbey and Abby test out Freelee the Banana girl's Raw Til 4 diet and whip up one of her infamous 1000-calorie breakfast shakes. First of all, Freelee? Where do we even start. This YouTube celebrity self professed "diet guru" developed the now famous Raw Til 4 diet that requires one to eat only raw vegan ingredients all day long, and then tuck into a cooked meal for dinner.

It guess it wouldn't be SO bad (yay, pizza for dinner err'day!) but Freelee takes it another step further down the crazy lane. In Freelee's world, you pretty much just eat fruit and wash it down with more fruit (aka. 7 bananas in your breakfast shake). The thought alone makes us want a cheeseburger. Now, we're all for getting your carbs in, but any breakfast with more than 15 teaspoons of sugar that's not a once-per-year cronut is just not okay. Seriously, it's no wonder people online are pissed that they're blowing up like balloons on her so-called "weight loss" regime.

Go fruit yourself Freelee.

Watch For Yourself

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Be sure to follow Abbey and Abby for lots of real-world healthy recipes and eating tips that you’ll be motivated to stick to for the long haul. They've also got a bunch more crazy diet trials coming up which you won't want to miss out on.

Catch the crazy by subscribing and following along here!