A Stanford Graduate's Honest Advice To First-Gen/Low-Income College Freshmen

"Trust me. Be there. Done that."

1.

Don't listen to anyone that tells you to "do what makes you happy".

Stanford was extremely helpful when it came to helping students decide what academic path they wanted to go down. They paired us (the freshmen) with a pre-major advisor who matched our "interests" (keyword: interests). I was interested in art, music, and history and guess what, I was paired with a professor of history who minored in music at his time at Stanford. We would have these periodic meetings in which we would meet and he would offer me guidance on how to navigate campus and make the most of my academic career. The more I got to know him the more I realized our experiences leading up to college were completely different. I won't go into the details, but he seemed to have the sort freedom you'll see in kids whose parents weren't worried about the bills and tuition. Don't get me wrong he was a good advisor. He was attentive, caring, and knowledgeable. However, what he didn't seem to understand was that I NEEDED to get an internship that summer and, no shade to music or history, but my chances of getting an internship with either that would make a dent in tuition next year would be slim. What I'm saying is "do what's most pragmatic". If that aligns with what you love, then you are set. If it doesn't, find a way to make it work with what you love (I didn't say it would be easy.).

2. Get an advisor or mentor that is actually invested in you.

My biggest mistake was to go through most of college alone. When you do what I did, you are flying blind and thereby greatly increasing your chances of crashing. Fortunately, they are people out their that can guide you. This is another piece of cliche advice everyone will give you, but it's so crucial. Let me bring that to life for you. Because I didn't have anybody to talk to, I took classes that I shouldn't have taken when I took them because I simply didn't know. I got grades that I could have avoided because I didn't have anybody to be accountable to, and I missed out on amazing job/internship/academic opportunities because I had no one to prepare me for them. Yeah … so an advisor is pretty important. An advisor is like a health insurance policy, you don't realize you need one until you're in it.

3. Don’t exclusively hang around the "poh" kids.

Stanford had a few spaces for us "poh" kids to retreat from the shock of the privilege around us, and I commend them for that. That being said, it's natural to retreat to those comfort zones around the people whom you find most familiar, and in our case, the kids that had to stick with the dining hall food … even if it was particularly bad that day. I would encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and hang out with those other kids … the ones that own a single article of clothing more expensive your whole wardrobe. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but you will have to be confident and unapologetic about who you are. They have a view of the world that will only serve to enrich yours and they are connected to a wealth of opportunity that will become advantageous to you.

4. Do not entirely avoid risk.

What I noticed was kids from our economic background acutely felt the pressure to find financial security, therefore we settled for the safest thing out there. For example, that could be foregoing the opportunity to nurture an idea into a startup to focus on your major. However operating from that place of fear is more limiting than it is securing. Yes, it is important to get good grades, but the world of opportunity is bigger than what your condition would have you believe. Again, it's a question of balance and risk. Consider your possibilities, assess your risk, and be brave.

5. Never let failure be the reason you quit.

If you read "don't be afraid of failure", you read wrong. If being afraid of failure is what spurs you to success, then being afraid is beneficial. Personally, that works for me, and there is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is letting a single instance or even a series of failures stop you from reaching your goal. Failure doesn't mean you've moved backwards. It means you haven't moved at all; so, just keep on moving. More bluntly put, if a class is "hard" and you get your first F, it doesn't mean that that major is not for you. It just means you need to catch up on that specific classes' material. You are just as smart as anybody. If they can do it, you can do it too.

6. Do it for the haters.

Chances are slim that anyone will tell you can't do it to your face. That's a hater outing themselves too easy, and that should be easy for you to laugh at and dismiss. The more common and insidious type of haters are the people that will try to indirectly let you know that you can't do it. For example, you'll come up with a great idea and let them know, but instead of supporting and motivating you, they'll begin to destructively tell you of the time they or other people tried and failed. What you need to do is be a little bit headstrong and add their disbelief and jealousy into motivation for yourself. Lastly, discard the haters. Disprove them (read: flex on yo haters), but surround yourself with supportive people.

7. Remember who you are and where you come from.

I'm sorry to inform you that the life of partying as hard as they did in American Pie and Animal House is not for you. I mean it is totally your prerogative, but let it be known, that the universal laws of thermodynamics hold true for you. You cannot get out what you didn't put in. If you want to be successful, you need to make your work a hard-line priority before everything else. Your friends may be able to do that kind of thing, and still be successful, but chances are you don't have the safety net or the connections they do. I had to remind myself of this many times during my 4 years considering I was surrounded by the latter and the force is not strong with this one. What helped me occasionally was to remind myself of why I was here, what was in my bank account, and how hard my family had worked and was still working for me to have this opportunity.