7 Things All Gay Frat Guys Hear

"Oh, you're gay? Must like being around all those men!" *rolls eyes*

Being gay AND in a fraternity comes with many lovely questions and stereotypes, and we all know it.

7. "How do you talk to your brothers? Isn't it, like, weird for you guys?"

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Yes, because us gays have a secret language that uses many glottal vibrations, hip thrusts, and sassy hand movements. Or, ya know, WE TALK LIKE REGULAR BROS ABOUT BRO STUFF. How do you think we talk to them?

6. "Oh, you're gay? Remind me not to drink around you!"

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Yes, it's probably best. Us gay men carry an infinite supply of roofies and harbor a deep desire to violate our brothers. Or just shut the fuck up and drink, you ugly, straight son-of-a-bitch.

5. "Did you join just to see lots of dick?"

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That's right, I joined an organization NOT to volunteer in the community, raise money for philanthropies, or develop my skills as a leader; but instead to see penis (AKA the weirdest hunk of hanging flesh on the male anatomy).

4. "Oh my god! You totally faked being straight to get in, didn't you?!"

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Yes. It was tough not throwing glitter around, farting rainbows, or dancing to Cher, but as soon as I was initiated, I transformed into FABULOUS............orrrrrrr, I was just my usual self and SURPRISE! people liked me for me.

3. "How many of the brothers do you want to make out with?"

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CAUGHT ME! How could I ever just want to have non-sexual friendships with other men? Because that's a thing all friends do, right? Massage tongues? They're my brothers, it'd be like Frenching my sister.

2. "I can't believe your fraternity let a FAG in! You're all a bunch of pussies!"

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Bitch, I will destroy everything you hold dear. Come for me, I don't care. Dealt with it all my life. But come for my brothers? NOW YOU DIE. My sexuality has nothing to do with my brothers, and I will defend them until I die.

1. "OH MY GOD! I bet you're the BEST date to function!"

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Well...that's actually true.

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No matter what is said, nothing can break the bond I have with these men. They love me and I love them-unconditionally. It's rare to find a friend who knows you through and through; I am lucky enough to have a house full of them. No matter gay, straight, black, or white, going Greek is the best decision I could have ever made in my collegiate career. Thank you, brothers!