1. When the clock strikes 5, you're like:
2. Red, white, sparkling? You don't discriminate.
3. Your only interests are drinking wine and judging people.
4. Olivia Pope is your spirit animal.
5. Bottled? Boxed? You're not picky.
6. You bring your own personal bottle to all social gatherings.
7. You have enough corks lying around to make one of these:
8. You know that wine has magical powers to help you through any situation.
9. You worry about your neighbors judging your recycling bin.
10. Using wine as an IV drip sounds perfectly fine to you.
11. You'd have wine and cheese for every meal, ever, if you could.
12. You challenge everyone who says you can't drink at breakfast.
13. You want to be best friends with Kathie Lee and Hoda.
14. You know that no good story can be told without a full glass.
15. You don't understand how people are able to keep wine cellars.
16. You think to yourself, Maybe just a half a glass more.
17. Your quiet nights at home end up looking like this:
18. You often wake up with purple-stained lips.
19. You and your friends know exactly what your plans entail.
20. You don't understand how people don't like wine.
21. You never let a drop go to waste.
22. You have conversations with your friends about your questionable habits.
23. But it's OK, because they don't judge you.
24. So grab a glass, and fill 'er up.
25. Because wine is made from grapes, and grapes are fruit, and fruit is good for you.
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