The Top Ten Cars Driven By Idiots

The Top ten cars driven by someone who will either cut you up, not indicate or just be driving along at 15MPH under the speed limit

1. BMW 1 Series

BMW / Via On the internet

The BMW 1 Series. You want a BMW but know nothing about cars and have persuaded daddy to buy you a car. Why not be a Cockwomble on the roads by never ever using the indicators and constantly being in the wrong lanes in roundabouts in this. Don't worry us mere mortals are able to work out which way the driver intends to go as after all.

2. The Honda Jazz

Some bloke / Via Down the back of the sofa

Favoured by the elderly and can be found badly parked outside the post office on pension day, outside B&Q on a Wednesday and travelling at 45 mph in the middle lane of the motorway with the occupants* blissfully unaware of the undertaking HGV's .

*Stench of piss is an optional extra.

3. Citroen C1

You / Via By there

Gemma has just passed her test and this is the favourite transport of teenage girls, can be found being steered badly about city centres as taking a call from Mandy on her iPhone is more important than stopping at that zebra crossing. Luckily its small size means that Gemma can only take up two parking spaces outside the nail bar when she stops the hideous French shopping trolley.

4. Fiat 500

Fiat / Via Michael Shumachers house

The Fiat 500, Mandys daddy has more money than Gemmas and she got a cutie Italian City car. Most commonly found with dents from Citroen C1's outside nail bars and doing what Italian cars do best, slowly dissolving in the rain.

5. Audi TT

I dont care / Via Poo

Oh Dear Mandys got to get her hair done, don't worry the mobile hair dresser has turned up in one of these.

Most likely to be found outside VD clinics.

6. Mazda MX5

Some twat / Via Arse

The MX5, driven by clap ridden Wankpuffins who think that everyone wants their car.

However we all just give them the five finger fist shake and refuse to let these undersized knobs* out of junctions.

* Pun intended

7. Subaru Impeza

Donkey / Via tubgirl

Why not get yourself a Rally car with loads of stickers on it for your daily commute to the mobile phone shop.

If you see one of these on the roads I bet you think "Twat" as it trundles past with its oversized pedigree chum tin exhaust.

8. New Mini

Mini / Via pissflaps

Its not a Mini its a BMW, you are not cool in this you look like an estate agent.

9. Any Hyundai

Pontypridd / Via Fireman Sam

Nothing shouts "I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CARS" more than owning a Hyundai, why?

Just why do people buy these?

10. Nissan Juke

My auntie Keith / Via in his butt crack

Oh Dear Mandys got knocked up and needs a bigger car for her hoard of sprogs.

Why not get one of these bloody things with their different colour trims that make it look like a psychedelic nightmare. Can be found badly parked outside schools and just generally driven with minimal attention paid to what is actually happening on the roads as Gemma is on the iPhone again as her boyfreind Tyrone has Gonnarear.