7 Things To Know About Misanthropes
Some people have reacted in a way that expresses confusion, when debates end up touching on the fact that I'm a Misanthrope. I've ended up in a lot of arguments that just go in circles, because people are trying to appeal to a better nature that I don't have. While amusing, it can be a little annoying. So, I thought I'd give you a little information on what it means to be a Misanthrope.
Let's start off this list with the definition. A Misanthrope is 'a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society.' Seems pretty simple, doesn't it? But it's not always so black and white for others. So to help you comprehend, here is a list of 7 things you should know about Misanthropes.
1. There are various degrees of Misanthropy.
Like many other things, there are varying degrees of Misanthropy. Some Misanthropes are also agoraphobic. Some aren't agoraphobic, but will still avoid all human contact at all costs/as much as they possibly can. And some function like a 'typical' person on a day to day basis, all the while hating any human interaction and cursing the human race in their heads (or out loud even, in some peoples' cases).
2. Yes, when we say we dislike humankind that includes ourselves!
We're not hypocrites, we KNOW we're human too (obviously), and we still dislike humans. We're self-hating humans. We are ashamed to be human, and would be probably any other life form if we had the chance. Many of us have mental illnesses that involve suicidal feelings, and we are kind of calloused to existence; we have a devil-may-care attitude about our eventual demise, and will therefore sometimes take greater risks/put ourselves in danger more readily. Many also suffer from different forms of body dysmorphia due to the self-hate. So no, we don't dislike 'all humans except ourselves'. We dislike humans, period.
3. Just because we dislike people, doesn't mean we don't have friends/loved ones.
So why aren't we agoraphobic, friendless individuals? Well firstly, some of us are. But for the others, I often like to pull out this quote from Men in Black, as it sums it up perfectly: "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it."
If we have a chance to get to know you on a 1 on 1 basis, we'll probably get along! We may even develop a strong enough bond to be lifelong friends and/or important figures in each others' lives. This is why Misanthropes will still have family and friends they care about. But as a whole, we don't like humans: we will avoid going out in public unless absolutely necessary, in which case we will go out of our way to avoid contact with as many people as possible. If we do have an interaction with a stranger in public, we're probably not going to be overly friendly or patient about it, and will be trying to escape the situation as quickly as possible. And if no one speaks to us, we will make no effort to acknowledge anyone around us; as far as we're concerned, you're invisible.
Here's an example of a situation involving a Misanthrope that typically confuses non-Misanthropes (in this scenario the 'you' being referred to is the Misanthrope):
You're at a party - Why are you at a party? You don't like people!! –Because a friend or loved one invited you and/or the majority of people there are ones you know. While you're there, if no one you know is immediately around you, you'll be sitting quietly by yourself. A stranger approaches you and starts talking to you; you don't completely ignore them, you interact with them, but you're hesitant and not overly friendly/warm. From there, it could go either way; 1) the person is put off by your outward attitude (usually what you're hoping for) and decides not to bother talking to you any longer (success!!!). Or, 2) they stumble upon a topic you have in common and a real conversation starts between the two of you; now you've gotten to know the person 1 on 1, and perhaps will stay in touch and become friends.
4. We expect a 50/50 effort.
If a friendship/relationship does blossom, we expect an equal effort from the other person as what we are putting out. If despite our best efforts our calls are ignored, plans are never followed through or if there is any huge gap in effort at all, expect to stop hearing from us-you aren't worth our time any longer. We simply won't bother to put in the effort for someone if we're not getting it in return.
5. We understand loyalty.
Once we've gotten to know someone and know that despite being human, they don't suck, they have our loyalty, and that loyalty is incredibly strong. Arguably, it's even stronger than in a typical relationship. We've deemed you worthy of our time and our friendship despite you being a fellow human being, so this is not taken lightly by us. We will go out of our way for you in any situation (provided the rules in #4 apply). But, expect us to give a second thought to some stranger passing on the street? HAHA! Not happening.
6. We understand empathy/sympathy, but not everyone is given it.
Because we dislike people, we don't feel empathy or sympathy towards someone we don't know. For example, if I'm walking down the sidewalk and an adult walking towards me trips and hurts them self, I'm not going to feel bad for them. I won't care. If anything, in my head a little voice may snap, 'watch where you're walking and maybe you won't trip!', or something equally cold that I would never utter aloud. Does this mean that in a more serious situation, (for example, the person is clearly very injured from the fall), that we will walk by and just ignore them? Probably not, but we'll only do what is needed then get out of there as quickly as possible. And if we come across a situation where help is already present, we will then just walk by. Basically, we're not completely heartless, but we ARE pretty calloused. So don't expect to squeeze sympathy from these stones.
7. Don't expect us to give others 'credit', or 'the benefit of the doubt'
We feel people are inherently stupid, lazy and selfish (again, we believe this knowing that we as human beings fall under that statement). We feel that if given the right opportunities, these traits will ALWAYS be prominent in every human being. Trying to convince us otherwise is pretty pointless. We're never going to give people the benefit of the doubt that they're a good person or trying to do the right thing, because odds are, they aren't! Some people are able to overcome them the majority of the time, and be decent human beings. But in our view, they aren't the majority. So don't expect us to think positively in terms of complete strangers' motives; we cannot give a stranger the benefit of the doubt, as we don't feel they deserve it. We don't expect anyone to grace us with their credit or benefit of the doubt either, we equally feel that WE don't deserve it! We don't expect anything from anyone…we feel we don't owe other humans anything, so we wouldn't expect to be owed.
So there you have it! For all you know, someone special in your life may have been a Misanthrope this whole time!
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