We Get It: You’re Engaged

This isn’t a piece against marriage, but more of a PSA to girls out there hogging up our Facebook feeds with pictures of their ring from 12 different angles. This piece is catered to anyone having to scroll down their newsfeed, for what seems like an eternity, to exit the realm of “I Said Yes!!!"

Yo. Is Kay Jewelers having some crazy sale this week? Slow it down with the engagements.

Via blogger.com

It seems every time I refresh my browser, a picture pops up captioned “I said yes.” Um…Of course you said yes… you’ve had your wedding details planned out on Pinterest for the past 3 years.

Oh and you’re not fooling anyone with that surprised look on your face pointing at your ring...Betch, you had that vintage cushion halo diamond engagement ring picked out and sized last week.

Listen, it’s not like we’re not happy you found the love of your life. It’s not every day that you find someone who accepts your obsession with The Bachelor and doesn’t criticize you for eating Taco Bell no matter how much you keep reminding him that you’re on a super ser diet.

We’re happy for you. We’d just be a little happier if you slowed it down with the constant wedding updates on Facebook. FYI- your ring looks exactly the same to us no matter what color Mani you’re sporting or iced coffee you’re grasping. I’m over your pic collages, done with the countdown, and had it up to here with the 3 page novel about how you two met and fell in love. Stop trying to paint us a fairytale meet cute. You met at a college mixer 2 days after he hooked up with your slutty friend Stacy.

It seems some people need a refresher on how social media works.

1.Facebook is to see whose life got so bad that they had to start selling body wraps.

2.Instagram is to keep tabs on Justin Bieber’s ever-changing hair game.

3.And Snapchat…well Snapchat is for dick pics.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: spare me the wedding invite. Honestly, I’d rather save the money from the envelope gift on seamless while I binge watch OITNB while streaming your wedding via Facebook Live.