Reasons Why Mistletoe Is The Least Romantic Thing To Kiss Under

"I'll be waiting for you under the parasite."

Ahhh.. Mistletoe. The symbol of romance and love during the holiday season. So adorable, so romantic..

tumblr.com

When actually, it's the least romantic thing to smooch under.

tumblr.com

So here are a few reasons to change your holiday habits:

reactiongifs.com

Listen to Beyonce.

1. Mistletoe is POISONOUS.

cdn.sheknows.com

Mistletoe causes acute-gastrointestinal problems like diarrhea and stomach pain, as well as a low pulse. Not cute.

2. Mistletoe was involved with the crucifixion of Jesus

upload.wikimedia.org

After the the fall of the Roman Empire and the rapid spread of Christianity, a legend began in France that the cross Jesus was crucified on was made of mistletoe. Because of mistletoe's involvement in the crucifixion, the plant was banished from ever growing out of the ground and now has to have a host plant to survive.

3. Mistletoe is a PARASITE AND A LIFE-SUCKER.

upload.wikimedia.org

Mistletoe grows when its seed germinates on a host tree. It then grows and infects deep inside the plant's tissue absorbing water and nutrients from it reducing their growth and with a heavy infestation CAN KILL IT. IT SUCKS OUT THE LIFE-FORCE OF THE TREE. ITS LIKE KISSING UNDER A BLOOD-SUCKING LEECH. WHAT.

(Note: In some habitats however, Mistletoe is considered a keystone species. But still a life-sucker)

4. Mistletoe means "Poop-Twig"

secretcurtseysociety.com

Mistletoe gets its name Anglo-Saxon orgins:

"Mistal" meaning dung, and "tan" which means twig. Which becomes "Dung on a Twig" or "Poop-twig" depending how you look at it.

Why? Mistletoe is able to get its leeching start when birds who have eaten the seeds leave their droppings on trees.

Uh.

5. MISTLETOE KILLED BALDR.

norse-mythology.org

In Norse Mythology Baldr was considered to be the most beloved of all the gods. When he had a premonition of his death, his mother Frigg, the wife of Odin, made every object in the realm promise not to hurt her son. All objects vowed except mistletoe.

Well Loki found out and made an arrow out of mistletoe just to screw with all of them, and while all the gods were playing a new game where they would throw things at Baldr and watch them bounce off, Loki gave the arrow to Baldr's blind brother Hodur, and Hodur shot and killed Baldr.

Mistletoe: Stopping fun and causing fratricide since forever.

6. This.

Just remember, there are plenty of better places to kiss.

tumblr.com

tumblr.com

tumblr.com

Happy Holidays!

tumblr.com