The Definitive Ranking Of Sour Apple Candy

Because not all artificially flavored sweets are created equal.

23. Dum Dum Pops

Via Spangler Candy Company/

The name says it all. Chopped Granny Smith apple pieces, sugar and vinegar on a spoon > this one-to-three-licks-before-it’s-finished bore.

22. Zotz

Via Andre Prost Inc./

This doesn’t even belong in grandma’s candy dish next to the ten year-old strawberry chews that are supposed to look like a strawberry, but definitely don’t taste like strawberry.

21. Jolly Ranchers

Via The Hershey Company/

Am I the only one who gets a strange headache when I eat these? I asked for legit sour apple, not the need for a Penicillin prescription.

20. Skittles / Via Wrigley, Inc.

Replacing lime with apple seemed like a good idea, but the replacement has not lived up to expectations. This flavor is the Stephen Baldwin of the Skittles family.

19. Jelly Beans

Via The Jelly Belly Company/

Perhaps these are better by the handful, but they leave my taste buds bored and uninspired. Dr. Pepper jelly beans for the win.

18. Bubblicious Bubble Gum

Via Cadbury Adams/

OMG THIS TASTES AMAZ — and there goes the flavor.

17. Crybaby Sour Gum Balls

OMG THIS TASTES AMAZ — why did my gum just turn into sawdust?

16. Pop Rocks

Via Poprocks Inc./

Eating too much of this “candy” kind of makes you want to carry out the soda/Pop Rocks experiment to see if your stomach explodes.

15. Pucker Powder

Via The Foreign Candy Company/

Honestly, this delightfully sour (albeit, messy) stuff isn’t terrible. I just hate the word “pucker.”

14. Hubba Bubba Squeeze Pops

Slightly remember paying for this stuff in the back of an alley. Or maybe I was just hallucinating from all of the Hubba Bubba liquid.

13. Laffy Taffy

Via Wonka

A great soft texture, but am I the only one who thinks they use mayonnaise to tone down the sour flavor?

12. Big League Chew

Really great sour to sweet ratio. Really terrible hit to the ego when you’re reminded that you’re not and never will be Nick Swisher.

11. Blow Pops

Via Charms

Obviously the best Blow Pop flavor. Getting to the gum center is always a great time. You just have to ignore the blood coming from the roof of your mouth.

10. Now & Laters

Via Ferrara USA/

Slightly more sour (aka better) flavor than Laffy Taffy, but a wannabe Starburst. I’m also pretty sure that I consumed one in 1996 and it’s still attached to my upper right molar.

9. Bubble Tape Gum

Via Wrigley

Yummy sour crystals that lose their flavor in three seconds. Good news: you’ve got about 20 feet more of the stuff.

8. Caramel Apple Pops

The perfect combo of sour apple and sweet caramel. And even though my sister cracked her tooth on one in first grade (which required her to get braces), she has never looked back.

7. Trolli Apple-O’s

Via Trolli

What this lacks in sour, it makes up for in amazingly soft texture. I don’t “O” over them (false advertising), but eating these after a week of clean eating can definitely cause a semi.

6. AirHeads

Via Perfetti Van Melle Inc./

There have been prayer circles over the White Mystery flavor being sour apple.

5. Warheads

Via Impact Confections, Inc./

These rank supreme in sourness. I also made a profit off of them in fifth grade. Deliciousness + learning the fundamentals of entrepreneurship = double win.

4. Sour Patch Apples

Via A Candy Company/

Can get as stale as Kim Kardashian’s personality, but always an amazing choice to satisfy any craving.

3. Sour Punch Straws

Via American Licorice Co./

The anorexic cousin to the best sour apple candy. Coated in sour crack, these never disappoint.

2. Sour Apple Martinis

Oops! How did this get in here?

1. Sour Apple Belts

Nothing comes close. Perfect balance of sour and sweet. Perfect chewy and soft texture. I’ll take a sour apple belt over an Hermes belt any day.

Now get snackin’!

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