1. On Gossip Girl, when Russel kidnapped Blair and tried to blow her up, then Chuck saved her and they decided to celebrate at a stranger's Bar Mitzvah.
They even did the Horah. And then they had sex. At this 13-year-old's party.
2. Also on Gossip Girl, when Blair made a deal with God to keep Chuck alive if she stayed with Louis???
Props to Leighton Meester for making this at least partially believable, but still...for a show with literally no religious influence, this was a bit odd.
3. Also when Rufus dated Ivy, who had pretended to be his niece Charlotte Rhodes, for YEARS?
She also hooked up with Serena's dad (the FATHER of the girl she pretended to be).
4. On Pretty Little Liars, when A STOLE Emily's eggs and implanted them into Alison?
I'm sorry, am I watching Black Mirror??
5. Also on Pretty Little Liars, when the girls went to Ravenswood and met Mrs. Grunwald and all of a sudden ghosts were a thing??
Stop trying to make Ravenswood happen. It's not going to happen.
6. Also when Mona's ghost haunted Alison on Christmas??
7. When Ali told a creepy fictional story about twins on Halloween, and the next year the murderous twin showed up at Hanna's house???
Then disappeared and was never spoken of again. The holidays episodes were really something.
8. On 90210, when Naomi got into a yoga-themed cult and then gave them all her money?
9. Also on 90210, when Liam started dating this widow who worked at his bar AND THEN HER DEAD HUSBAND SHOWS UP!!
I guess he faked his own death for insurance reasons? He also stalks Adrianna??
10. And also in 90210 (because who can get enough 90210 EVER?) when Annie became a literal prostitute, wrote an erotic novel about it, and became a bestselling author.
11. On The Originals, when Klaus somehow got Hayley pregnant despite being a 2,000 year old vampire?
Twilight did it first.
12. On One Tree Hill, when Lucas almost died and the ghost of his dead uncle showed him what life would be like without him in it.
This made me tear up a bit, but also was entirely unnecessary.
13. Also on One Tree Hill, when Nathan was kidnapped because of sports??
14. And then Dan, Julian, and Chris Keller of all people committed murder to rescue him??
I'm with you, Chris.
15. On The Secret Life of the American Teenager, when Grace's dad died in a plane crash right after she had sex and she thought it was God's punishment.
Oh man.
16. Also on Secret Life, when Grace starts a campaign called "Just Say Me" to encourage girls to masturbate instead of pursuing boys.
I have no words.
17. On The Vampire Diaries, when Damon kidnapped Tyler, made him take him to Elena's coffin, and then BURNED HER ALIVE!!
Turned out a few episodes later it wasn't Elena, but we spent a good bit thinking Elena was LEGIT dead.
18. Also on The Vampire Diaries, when we found out Alaric and Caroline were engaged??
He was her teacher???
19. Not to mention when Damon and Stefan's mom turned out to not be dead, but the "mother" of a family of vampire-witches that she abandoned her children for hundreds of years ago.
Leaving them at the mercy of her abusive husband.
20. On Teen Wolf, when Jackson tried to become a werewolf but instead turned into a reptile:
21. When Malia killed her whole family, became a coyote for like ten years, then went to high school like it was no big deal.
Yeah, they showed her "struggle" at school, but this girl was A LITERAL COYOTE. FOR YEARS.
