1. "You couldn't handle my undivided attention"
2. "I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors."
3. "All you need is love. False. The four basic human necessities are air, water, food, and shelter."
4. "I just want to be friends, plus a little extra, also I love you."
5. "Before I do anything I ask myself, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing."
6. "How would I describe myself? Three words: hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable."
7. "I am ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me."
8. ""R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it 'murder' and not 'mukduk'"
9. "Dammit, Jim! He put my stuff in jello again."
10. "When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had absorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby."
11. "I don't believe you, continue."
12. "Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will."
13. "I wish I could menstruate. I'd be more in tune with the moon and the tides."
14. "Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own circumcision."
15. Finally, Dwight was on the receiving ends of one of the most classic Office quotes of all time:
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