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1. She calls you every 5 minutes...
2. You hear, "Be careful and text me when you get there" every time you leave the house.
3. You also always hear, "Does the back of my hair look O.K.?"
4. Andddd the expression, "A daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life but a son is a son until he gets a wife."
5. She is always glued to her phone, playing Candy Crush and Words with Friends.
6. She thinks she knows how to use the word, "hashtag".
7. Having a sweatshirt with you everywhere you go incase it gets chilly.
8. She is always...and I mean ALWAYS on the phone with her mother.
9. You absolutely love matzo brie and she makes it for you before every big test.
10. But the thing that she makes most for dinner is reservations.
11. She's always telling you to take, "just one more bite" or telling you that you gained a little too much weight.
12. She always tells your father that her chicken soup is better than his mother's.
13. She said, "Oy, my baby!" when you got your first tattoo.
14. She wants you to find a nice Jewish boy or a nice Jewish girl.
15. And she tries to set you up with the cute Jewish girl at the nail salon.
16. She won't stop telling you that she can't wait to have grandkids.
17. ...and she's already picking out names that she wants them to call her.
18. The daily ritual after school was come home, have a snack and then do your homework. (She always told you "work then play" and to get done so you have the whole weekend free.)
19. You have 3 options as per career choice: doctor, lawyer, or accountant.
20. Her and her friends buy each other mugs and magnets about having menopause and hot flashes.
21. She is still bothered by that strap that was sticking out of her dress at your Bar/Bat-Mitzvah 9 years ago.
22. You want only her when you don't feel good.
23. There's always good snacks for your friends when they come over.
24. All of your friends think that your mom is cooler than you.
25. You're neurotic because you grew up being raised by a neurotic mother.
26. When you call her, she answers the phone with, "What's amatter?!"
27. She says that you're driving too fast and her panicking while you're driving gives you anxiety.
28. No matter what your fight was about or who was right or wrong, you always feel guilty after.
29. You always have top of the line clothing, jewelry, toys, etc.
30. And I bet she got it for you with a coupon.
31. And you're a great negotiator because you learned from the best.
32. She has a mink vest, a Michael Kors watch, Alex and Ani bracelets and she shops at JAPpy boutiques.
33. As a kid, you were always in Annie Sez, Bloomingdales and Macy's.
34. You had a curfew until you were 20 but you still come home at a respectable time.
35. You hated that curfew but you know that you are going to set the same one for your kids.
36. You know you have the best kind of mother, a Jewish mother and you wouldn't trade yours for the world.
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