1. We’re really not interested in hearing about that time you taught English in China.
2. We microwave rice ALL THE TIME.
Science says no; our leftovers say yes.
3. We are also secretly disgusted by how you cook rice.
4. Our families are like superheroes: They have their own origin stories.
5. We reeeeally don’t want to say anything in Chinese to you.
6. And we hate it when you try to speak it to us.
7. This is the worst possible guessing game you can play with us.
What is this, Question Time for arseholes?
8. We were reading manga and watching anime before it was cool.
9. When you say, "You look so much like [insert Asian celebrity here]," you’re probably wrong.
It’s not that we look alike. It’s just that you only know three Chinese actors.
10. When you ask for a fork and knife at Wagamama, we're judging you.
We say we're not, but WE SECRETLY ARE.
11. We also judge you every time you cook Chinese food.
12. But there's also an 85% chance that the Asian meal we cooked for you was from Wing Yip.
13. We definitely had a bowl cut before it was cool.
14. We were deeply and personally invested in Bloc Party.
15. We eat this all the time (and we feel guilty about it).
16. There are some memes that hit a little too close to home.
17. We're not impressed when you tell us about your Chinese girlfriend.
18. We’ve got fives times more relatives than you do (and we still can’t keep them straight).
19. That's why we call everybody "Uncle" and "Auntie".
20. Some of us didn't do well in school.
21. Not all of us are doctors, lawyers, or accountants.
22. Though sometimes it does get a little alienating being the only yellow face in a white place.
23. Especially when everybody else has a weird idea of what your culture is like.
24. Or when they try to stick labels on you.
25. And especially when people don't grasp basic niceties, like not using the word "chinky".
View this video on YouTube
"If you and your mates are going out for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?" What about "I'm going out for a Chinese takeaway"?
26. But even when you've been asked "where are you actually from?" for the 17th time in a month...
Guess what? We wouldn't change a thing.
