8 Places You Should NOT Check-In On Facebook

We have all seen it happen. Someone checks-in to some place ridiculous, hilarious, or totally inappropriate. (e.g - funerals) Here is a list that can keep you from the embarrassment, or rather, judgement of others online.

1. A plastic surgeon’s office

This was actually my first time checking into a place via Facebook mobile. I helped a friend who had recently been in a soccer accident get to his appointment to talk about nose surgeries. While we sat in the waiting room and gawked at all the Before/After photos that were hanging from the wall, I chuckled and made some crass joke about how I should get some work done while we were there. In the middle of our half-baked jokes I pulled out my phone and decided to share this joke with the world. I got on Facebook and wrote out: “Just a quick fix – Zach Stafford is at A Plastic Surgeon’s Office – Nashville, Tn.” It was all fun and games until I started procuring a lot of likes, and even one, “Good luck.” I even got a text message that said, “Nose job today? : )”

The moral of the story is things got too real – by checking in to the doctors office, I got to learn a little too much about what people thought about me, physically. I headed to a bar shortly after our appointment to wallow and delete all the evidence.

2. Your drug dealers drop off location

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This is a no brainer to most, but many, especially in college have done this without really thinking it through. The times that I have seen it happened haven’t been as obvious as one may think, but they were these more covert attempts that failed tremendously. My favorite one was when these two white girls I knew in college checked into 71st and Jeffrey in Chicago, and tagged two gentlemen who upon further Facebook creeping looked like they came out of an early 90’s film made in Compton, aka: They were black. Though usually I would never be suspicious of two white women in college with black men on the South Side of Chicago, these girls had however made some Anti-Obama joke earlier that week in one of the dorm rooms to me. So, honestly I don’t know if they were just hanging out in the South Side of Chicago for fun or buying drugs or whatever, but what I do know is: 1.) they don’t like Obama and 2.) they did drugs quite recreationally and 3.) they were annoying.

3. Your bed

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Honestly I just don’t care.

Enjoy your rest and get off Facebook mobile since you probably have a computer next to you.

4. A loved one’s funeral/wake

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This to me is just tacky and one of the lowest forms of being desperate for attention. The times I have seen this happened have been OK, to be nice, but they usually had random bible quotes next to the check in status or just an emoticon. I get it your sad, and this may be a way for you to process said sadness, but really? An emoticon was the best way to summarize your spatial location? Give me a break.

5. The STD clinic

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Actually, I do truly believe that we as a society should be much more able to talk about sexual health issues, and to not be such a slut-shaming culture. However, due to the current climate I wouldn’t advise checking into your local STD clinic any time soon for a few reasons:

a.)It may freak out any past partners that you haven’t spoken with lately or may have just recently had sex with. If I had just had some fun with some dude and the next week his Facebook read, “Just stopping by – hope things go well! – (Insert Dude) – is at STD Clinic on 3576 N. Broadway, I would literally go into a panic attack.

b.)This may hurt any chances of you getting laid ever again. Well at least with people you are Facebook friends with.

c.)Your mother and other family members may be calling you for an uncomfortable conversation on birds, bees, and other things that sting.

6. A place you aren’t actually at

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[No explanation needed]

7. The Divorce Attorney’s Office

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Not because you shouldn’t get a divorce. But because this may give your Ex much more information about your plan of attack than you’d like them to have. This is a war; you must win. During the time of divorce trials don’t actually check-in any where. Be anonymous. It will protect you if this person is crazy, while also allowing you to freak them out in a significant way. If your ex is like most ex’s, they are probably just sitting on your Facebook page right now, waiting for you to do something to where they can find out more things about you without you knowing. Don’t allow them that.

8. A John's School

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Some of you may have heard of these places, but I am going to guess a lot of you haven’t. John’s Schools are programs popping up around the world that are run by social workers, people in law enforcement, and ex-sex workers. These programs seek to educate men who have recently paid for sex on the harsh realities of the women involved in the sex trade. These schools have had mixed reviews due to obvious reasons. Though I feel I don’t have to say much about why this may be a bad idea to check-in on Facebook here, I will say this:

The sex trade and lives of sex workers are not like the movie Pretty Women. Don’t check-in to get laughs; you’ll look like an ass and a sex offender. Wait…