1. People always think you’re Mexican.
NOT all Latinas are Mexican FYI.
2. People always want to tell you about their OTHER Latina friend.
3. No one can pronounce your name properly, ever.
“Can you break it down into syllables for me?”
4. Your family is CONSTANTLY asking you when you’re getting married and having kids.
“C’mon, mija, bring me grandkids.”
5. People always ask you to “say something” in Spanish because OMG you speak Spanish.
6. OR people assume you don’t speak Spanish and talk shit in front of you.
But you totally understand everything they’re saying and respond in Spanish.
7. People always ask you if you speak Mexican because that is TOTALLY a language.
8. At every family gathering you are introduced to family you’ve never met. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE.
You are expected to kiss every single one of them on the cheek when you meet them and again when you say good-bye.
9. You could not speak to your mom when she was watching the novela.
Plus, you secretly enjoy watching them too.
10. You: I’m bored. Your mom: CLEAN THE HOUSE.
Lesson learned: Don’t be bored, ever.
11. You automatically become a translator for your parents, teachers, and your friends’ parents.
“Uh, yeah, so what she’s trying to say is…”
12. “I’M NOT YELLING AT YOU” — your family members as they yell at you.
But that is actually just them using their inside voice.
13. When your mom says something to you in Spanish, but you respond in Spanglish because you don’t know how to say certain words.
“So, ya se que debo hacer eso, but I didn’t have tiempo to finish …”
14. Guys think its perfectly OK to call you “mami.”
YOUR MOM ISN’T HERE.
15. Your mom will never let you go ANYWHERE without cleaning first.
She doesn’t care if you’re late to wherever you’re going.
16. People always want to practice their Spanish on you.
Latinas speak English just like you BTW.
17. People always tell you that you look “exotic.”
“OMG where are your ancestors from?” LOS ANGELES, bitch.
18. When you were little and sincerely believed that your mom singing “Sana, sana, colita de rana, si no sana hoy, sanara manana” would cure everything.
If ONLY that song still worked for you as an adult.
19. Your brother always got to sleep in, but you were a “huevona” if you didn’t get up early to get a head start on the day.
20. Every decade that the census rolls around, you have an identity crisis.
Hispanic? Latino? Other?!
21. People always expect you to be “spicy,” and you’re like, “I’m just myself.”
22. When people try to make fun of you for having an accent and you’re like, “YEAH, I’M BILINGUAL.”
Do you even speak another language, bro?
23. Pants fit your legs, but never your hips and butt.
You gotta dance your way in.
24. People tell you that you look like a “Chola” if you wear hoop earrings.
UM, HI, STEREOTYPES. ANYONE CAN WEAR HOOP EARRINGS, OK.
25. Everyone assumes you know all of J.Lo’s songs.
And OMG you do, but like, you also enjoy all the other 23489723498724 types of songs out there.