5 Suprising Things Your Mom Doesn't Want You To Know, That Makes You Smarter (Slightly NSFW)

Don't let your Mom know you're reading this list... 5 things that science suggests makes you smarter. But your mom told you it would kill you immediately. Please take everything in this article with a large grain of salt.

1. Brewski

Via articles.nydailynews.com

Now unfortunately this one only works with the male readers according to this article by the New York Daily News. In a recent experiment, scientists wanted to explore alcohol’s effect on the brain when thinking analytically. The men were given word puzzles and beer. Sounds awesome right? However, as a control, Half of them were buzzed, half were not. The ones who had consumed, on average, solved the problems faster and solved more of them than the sober janes. The article also sheds light on how raging drunks like Ernest Hemingway and Charles Bukowski would have been able to write without scribbling all over the page. *drink responsibly my friends.

2. Pot

Via newscientist.com

According to a somewhat recent study conducted by some nice white-coats at the University of Saskatchewan, pot was linked to the growth of new brain cells. Scientists found that a chemical similar to the active ingredient in marijuana increased the growth of new cells in rats. Before you close this article and go rip a fat one, read the article. The rats were given high doses twice a day, and it was found that they didn’t really give a shit when stressful situations occurred. Sounds about right with my experience. However the experiment was after all conducted using rats. Its worth saying that the resulting might not translate all that well to humans, but hey, its another excuse.

3. Squeezing the monkey

Via news.menshealth.com

*No matter how many creative and disturbingly descriptive names I could come up with for pumping the chump, for the sake of your entertainment, I refuse to directly refer to the proper term addressed in this article.

Amazingly science has been able to prove that, in fact, you do not go blind if you pet the dragon. Actually a lot has been written recently about the health benefits of stroking the hound. There are many and quite a wide variety of benefits that are gained through the habit of polishing the banister every once in awhile. From boosting your mood to preventing your geriatric ass from prostate cancer, the evidence of the benefits from doing the hand jive are pervasive.

Women can also rejoice in the news sources say. From physical to emotional benefits, spanking the lemur, can help women become a better woman. Go you.

4. Vodka Cranberry

Via www2.wkrg.com

In a similar experiment to aforementioned experiment in regards to beer’s effect on the male brain, it was found out that girly drinks like a ‘cape cod’ can make you ‘smarter’. A number of men were given snacks, and vodka cranberry drinks, a number of unlucky men were not, all were told to watch a movie. After the movie the men were asked to complete a number of puzzles. Obviously the sober ones took a longer time thinking it over and answered on average less correctly than their inebriated, more interesting, counterparts. Proving that Russia’s biggest contribution to the modern world is clear and goes well with cranberry juice and lime.

5. Staring at Naked People

Via cnews.canoe.ca

As cheeky as the Canadian post was, the science behind it is as serious as black (HP joke). The experiment, run by University of Tampere and Aalto University, recorded brain reaction time. The experimenters found that men’s brains responded quicker the less clothes a woman was wearing. Woman in clothes took the longest to process, while naked woman took the shortest. Just another reason why going nude should totally be a thing. Our brains will have to work less.

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