24 Things That Randomly Happen When You Become Polyamorous

The loving multiple people struggle is real.

You've added this book to your reading list. And it's covered in highlighter marks, sticky notes, and conversation points for you and your partner(s).

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(Also: Ethical Slut and Sex at Dawn) And you recommend it to all of your friends whether or not they are in an open relationship or not.

You know this entire flow chart by heart.

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And most of the terms. And you are learning all of the terms for other aspects of sexuality and relationships.

You get freakishly good at juggling you're newly complex life via Google Calendar.

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Seriously, I'm pretty sure most of our relationships would crumble without this tool — and I'm instantly suspicious of someone in this community who doesn't use it.

This item makes you giggle (as does a remarkably large portion of the hardware store).

It's cool, we all do it.

You find yourself explaining your relationship a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

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And become a professional at answering questions.

You get used to the varied reactions from those who you choose to tell about your relationships.

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And you get used to navigating said reactions.

You find yourself saying, "No, Jealousy is a part of the relationship and we work through it."

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Of course jealousy is part of it, we're human after all. But you get to learn how to navigate those feelings, where they come from and you learn to talk with your partners about it.

Speaking of that, you learn to talk with your partner(s) about everything.

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Seriously, no conversation is taboo. If you can't talk, you cannot nourish an open relationship.

You will totally get overwhelmed.

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And it's normal and completely OK.

And you'll figure out that it's fine, because you get to know people in a really cool way.

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And there is a huge community to support you when you need it.

You will learn so much about yourself (and who you're with).

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Discovery is pretty sexy.

You find yourself saying "it's complicated" a lot.

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Ironically, it really does simplify explaining things to people.

You discover how important alone time is.

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No, like, seriously it becomes ridiculously nice to take yourself out for dinner.

Getting ready for a date, and watching your partner get ready for a date night becomes one of the best things ever.

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Aw, they still don't know how to dress themselves, surely you should help.

Con: You still have to go on first dates with new people.

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Pro: you still get to go on first dates with new people.

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You discover that its not about sex really at all.

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Even if sometimes it totally is.

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Let's just be honest — sometimes that's awesome.

You learn a lot about people.

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For the best and worst, because the more people you add, the more complicated it gets. The more you learn about yourself (and your limits of how many complications you can handle).

You will find that, even once you've gotten comfortable with yourself and relationship, you get judged

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And it might make you angry, but you've decided what makes you happy and you're working on it.

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So, for all intents and purposes, making your life the way you want it to be and helping those around you live the way they want to live makes you a badass.

Just remember: As your choices are totally valid so are theirs.

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And Poly really isn't for everybody (and it really doesn't need to be).

You will likely find yourself navigating waters a previous you never thought you'd navigate.

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Exciting, confusing, hard, wonderful, occasionally awesome, occasionally sexy, occasionally frustrating, but all worthwhile waters.

And in the end, loving yourself and your partners in the way that allows you to be ethically who you are is awesome.

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Because, ultimately love is really awesome.