10 Ways To Let Everyone Know The Subway Is Merely An Extension Of Your Bathroom

Your personal space is every space. All of them. Every single one.

Everyone knows a subway car is just a place for you to extend your personal boundaries beyond what is socially acceptable.

TLC / Via giphy.com

Where is the line? Wherever the hell you say the line is.

Letting common courtesy get in the way of your grooming habits is an easy mistake to make.

Disney / Via giphy.com

Doesn't make sense to me, either.

But it's a free country, damn it. You should be able to inconvenience as many people as you please.

DreamWorks Pictures / Via giphy.com

Being obnoxious is your birth right.

All it takes is 10 simple steps, all of which you complete in your subway car.

Warner Bros. / Via giphy.com

YOUR subway car. Yours. Your own. Your precious.

1. Do your makeup.

Disney / Via giphy.com

Use a powder puff to ensure your makeup drifts onto everyone sitting and standing around you.

2. Apply or remove your nail polish.

Disney / Via giphy.com

Spill the bottle for a more personal touch.

3. Cut off your split ends.

Disney / Via giphy.com

Be sure to sweep the trimmings off your lap and onto the floor in an unruly manner.

4. Spray your deodorant.

Pixar / Disney / Via giphy.com

For a unique move, miss your armpit and hit the person next to you.

5. Floss your teeth.

HBO / Via giphy.com

Don't be put off by sounds of disgust; you can do what you want, you understand?

6. Shave.

The WB / Via giphy.com

You're not dumb enough to take a razor on the subway. But what about those new-fangled battery devices?

7. File and clip your nails.

Pixar / Disney / Via giphy.com

If you feel like you're not pissing off an adequate amount of fellow passengers by this act alone, try yelling, "Ew! What is that?" as you clip your toenails.

8. Pluck stray hairs.

Comedy Central / Via giphy.com

Once you've clipped your nails, where can you possibly go? A challenge for our more advanced commuters is to whip out a pair of tweezers, pluck a few stray hairs, and revel in the horrified faces of everyone around you. Because you earned it.

9. Generously apply your cologne.

Disney / Via giphy.com

Some people say one or two sprays of cologne is enough. These people are liars. More is more. Go get 'em tiger.

10. Pop a zit.

20th Century Fox / Via giphy.com

You'll know you've truly pushed the boundaries of appropriate transit behavior once you've popped a zit in a carriage full of unsuspecting victims. Good work, you!