Baby Perfume AKA “Wha-?”
Hello Kitty apparently thought that it was necessary to obliterate the intoxicatingly awesome smell of baby with fruit and food-flavored scents.
Baby Bangs AKA “Baby Lace Front”
Character Inflatable Potty Seat AKA “Scary Blue Poop Eating Monster”
Want to traumatize your child? Tell them to sit on the face of this creepy blue monster and take a dump… And wouldn’t you, realistically, be using your mouth to blow this up each use? Ew.
Bathroom Baby Harness AKA “The Baby Germ Catcher”
Call me a germaphobe, but wouldn’t the back of the bathroom door be one of the dirtiest places to put your kid?
Pee-pee Teepees AKA “Tiny Pieces of Felt that Someone Learned How to Monetize”
Not sure why your baby boy’s johnson would be exposed long enough on the changing table for this to be necessary, or why, if a urine deflector is needed, you wouldn’t just use one of your handy baby wipes instead of spending $12 on “tee pees”.
Thudguard Baby Safety Helmet AKA “I’m a Helicopter Parent”
Part of the process of a baby learning to walk is taking a little tumble from time to time. Covering the sharp edges of your furniture would probably be a little more effective.
Zaky Infant Pillow AKA “I’m Too Lazy to Comfort My Kid”
For the parent who’s too busy to soothe their crying infant, or who simply wants to traumatize them with disembodied muppet hands, there’s the Zaky pillow.
The Peekaru Hoodie AKA “I’m Channeling a TeleTubbie”
This is taking “mommy and me” snuggle time to a whole new (awkward looking) level.
The NoseFrida Snot Sucker AKA “…Ew”
Ew… Just, Ew.
Potty Mitts Disposable Hand Covers AKA “My Kid’s Going to be OCD Just Like Me!”
I understand the necessity but isn’t that what soap and water are for? I’m just sayin’.
- Dylann Roof pleaded not guilty to federal hate crime charges in the Charleston church massacre.