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1. "One of my third-grade students told me that his dad was looking at my picture on Facebook and said I look pretty. But Dad hit his hand on the table when he realized that most of my page was set to private." —J.M.
2. "One of my kids told me his mom called me a thug because I have a tattoo on my foot." —L.H.
3. "One of my first graders asked if it was usual for mommies to kiss other people's daddies because she had seen her mom kissing another student's dad the night before." —C.M.
4. "One of my first graders wasn't doing his reading words. He explained that he couldn't because his dad had to poop 'at least twice every morning' and they kept running out of time to finish his homework between bathroom breaks." —R.S.
5. "One of my kindergarten students told me that she was exhausted because her parents were 'sexing it up' all night and she could hear them through the walls." —S.H.
6. "One of my fourth graders told me that her mom's nose hadn't always looked that way. It took several operations with her favorite doctor." —A.W.
7. "One of my first graders announced to the entire class that her parents sleep in separate beds because if they are together, her mom screams at her dad." —D.S.
8. "After a week of talking about the Constitution, my student came running into my classroom about an hour after school. She explained, 'I know now that the after-school program is no place for freedom, Miss.'"
9. "An eighth-grade student in my class announced that her mom was only 13 when she gave birth to her and no one had known she was pregnant. A few kids in the class got so wide-eyed that I thought their eyes might pop." —D.J.
10. "One of my high school students informed me that his mom always carries around a water bottle full of vodka. Sure enough, the next time I saw her, she had a sporty little Nalgene in her hands. Yikes."
11. "A kindergarten girl insisted that women have mustaches. She said she knew because she watches her mom waxing hers off every month." —E.J.
12. "One of my first graders drew a picture of what looked like two people in a rain storm. He explained that it was his mommy and daddy in the shower together." —E.C.
13. "I had a first grader who would tell me not to bother sending notes home because his 'mama be trowing it in da trash.' He wagged his finger at me and said 'dat woman needa stop sending me crap.'" —Y.D.
14. "One day, a second grader informed me that his dad had to sleep in the garage just for bringing dinner. I looked doubtful. 'No it's true. Mom said that if Dad was going to bring crabs home, he could sleep in the garage.'"
15. "The twins in my kinder class shared that they were staying at Grandma's because Dad says Mom spends too much. The next day they were back home. Daddy had changed his mind. It was okay if mom spent too much money as long as she had enough honey." —S.H.
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