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1. Everybody thinks you live here
2. And complains it's impossible to get to because it's "not on the tube"
3. But when you tell people they're wrong, they will refuse to believe you
4. It's OK though, because you still know that you have the number 3 bus, and the 3 is clearly the best bus in the world
5. Everyone in south east London knows you can keep Primrose Hill and Regent's Park...
6. ...Because Crystal Palace is a Grade II listed heritage park with dinosaurs in it
7. Dulwich Village is a portal through time to the 1940s
8. Croydon is where dreams go to die
9. You will never, ever see a celebrity in south east London
10. There is never anyone in North Dulwich station. Ever.
11. Everything is cheaper in the south east
12. No matter where you are in south east London, you will be miles from the nearest Waitrose
13. Hills. So many hills. Hills everywhere.
14. Trams are pointless
15. There is literally nowhere to go out dancing on a Saturday night
16. But there's nowhere else you'd rather spend a hungover Sunday
17. Everyone you know works in Canary Wharf
18. You find you do not understand how rail travel works anymore
19. So you've given up trying
20. You secretly think about moving to Catford, purely because of the giant cat
21. The correct way to pronounce Penge is actually "Pon-je"
22. This scene in Thor 2: The Dark World is endlessly infuriating
View this video on YouTube
No, you cannot get to Greenwich from Charing Cross without changing trains, as anyone who lives in south east London will tell you.
23. You've accepted Greenwich is simultaneously the best and the worst place in south east London
24. And you absolutely cannot fathom living anywhere else
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