Watch Corey Feldman Dress As Michael Jackson And Scream A Lot In His New Music Video

It’s for a song called “Ascension Millenium,” a title which, of course, doesn’t mean anything at all. Also, it’s 13 years after the whole “millenium” thing happened.

1. This is “Ascension Millenium,” the new No. 1 single from Corey Feldman’s brain to your ears.

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It’s difficult to make out more than a snippet of the lyrics at a time since he’s delivering them in this minorly upsetting half-growl, half-scream, but let’s guess what the song is about based on the title: It’s the year 3000, and future-Feldman is the tough, but fair judge of space court, where he presides over misbehaved alien-hotties with a robotic iron fist. Or something?

Just kidding! This track is about “[having] the feeling in your soul, you just got to let it go” and other vague (but very aggressively delivered) drivel, because what else would it be about? For most of it, Feldman is creepily dressed up as his childhood pal Michael Jackson and flanked by babes in the “sexy angel” Halloween costumes you might have worn if you were kind of an asshole in the 10th grade. There is also a house party scene where he wears a glittery fedora and appears to be the oldest person there by roughly two decades. It’s really, really excellent.

Needless to say, this video is sponsored by an off-brand energy drink.

2. For more Feldman-brand musical fun, please enjoy this performance of “What Up With Youth,” a song he wrote about the plight of ’90s teens.

It’s from 1992 and, like “Ascension Millenium,” features plenty of jerky pseudo-Jackson dance moves that make me uncomfortable. Enjoy!

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