Ladies and gentlemen, please put on your headphones. We’re about to take a little stroll.
1. It’s time to make your entrance, and things are gonna get FIERCE.
2. Set your confidence phasers on “stun” and get ready to show the sidewalk what’s up.
3. You step onto the street like, “Why hello, outside world, didn’t see you there!”
4. And it’s clear from the way you’re MOVIN’ that it’s going to be completely impossible to hold you back.
5. You’re working that stride of pride like no other…
7. You swivel your hips like, “Oh, this old thing?”
8. And the way you work them shoulders is otherworldly.
9. You throw your shoulders back and tell the world, “It’s [insert your name here], bitch.”
10. Ew, hold up, you see someone you hate. But you just hairflip and SASHAY AWAY.
11. Besides, you’re like one second away from the mayor offering your ass a key to the city.
12. You wonder, “God, why is everyone else walking SO SLOWLY?”
13. Then someone bumps into you and doesn’t excuse themself. But nothing’s gonna slow you down right now.
14. Besides, you’re still hitting every mark with a smile on your face.
15. You’re shredding happily along the avenue like you’ve never had a bad thing happen in your life…
16. …and you look STUNNING. When you walk into a place, you instantly make it 300% sexier.
17. You glide through the world like an exquisite swan. Wait, are your feet even touching the ground?
18. Oh dip, your *sinister* walking song just came on, though. Bitches need to LOOK OUT.
19. And you’re doing “mean-sexy” so RIGHT.
20. But wait, this next song is PERFECT. You just have to stop and bust a crazy move real quick.
21. Everyone you pass is like, “How is it possible for one person to have such perfect vibes?”
22. Man, you love this city. And it loves you and that hot-ass strut right back.
23. You’re simply unstoppable, killer. And you’ve got the walk to back it up.
You and your headphones owned the fuck out of today. Well done.
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