1. Every time you go out to eat, you think about how many nail polishes you could have purchased with that money.
I basically just ate 2 1/2 bottles of Chanel.
2. Never understanding how, even with all the polish you own, you don’t have that ONE color you need to wear right now.
This is too dark, this is too light. What am I? The Goldilocks of nail polish?
3. Trying to find new ways to sneakily buy more nail polish without your significant other finding out.
“Oh this? I bought this for my friend. She’s totally paying me back.”
4. Being in love with your current manicure but wanting to try a new polish so bad.
The struggle is real.
5. “Needing” that new polish even though you know you have one that looks identical at home.
BUY ALL THE THINGS!
6. Finding that lemming you’ve been looking for FOREVER.
OHMYGODOHMYGOD! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!
7. Trying out the cutest new nail art trend and then being extremely disappointed with the outcome.
But they made it look so easy. :(
8. Spending an entire day (or sometimes week) searching for a new collection.
So elusive! *shakes fist at sky*
9. Condescendingly being asked why you change your nail polish so much.
Mind yo business.
10. When a bunch of new polishes/collections are released at the same time but you can only afford one.
Please tell me this isn’t happening. WHY ME?! WHY NOW?!
11. When a company discontinues or reformulates a tried-and-true, fan favorite polish.
What is this shit? This is an atrocity! An outrage, I tell you!
12. Finding that perfect base color to wear under your favorite glitter polish.
It’s like a match made in glitter heaven!
13. When you open a bottle of polish you haven’t used in a long time and it’s completely dried out and unusable.
I only used it once and the cap was on tight, how did this even happen?
14. Looking at swatches and realizing it’s just making your wish list never ending.
I only have 10,000 polishes on my wish list… NBD. I’ll own them all in my dreams.
15. Going dusty-hunting and finding the holy grail.
Today is the best day ever and now I can die happy!
16. Not wearing polish and then walking around feeling like you’re naked.
I’ll be wearing mittens today in hopes of disguising this feeling.
17. Taking so much time and care to paint your nails and then either smudging them or having to pee SO BAD.
18. When you really want to wear your most sparkly glitter polish but then you remember what a pain it is to remove.
Even using the foil method… ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat.
19. When you go to Sephora to look at the polish selection and the associate talks to you about them like you are a n00b.
“Oh yeah! Thanks!” (Is there a polite way to say GTFO?)
20. Being hesitant when your friend asks to borrow one of your polishes.
Always send them with a list of care instructions and keep a list of who has what, just like at the library. Also, a waiver form for them to sign…”I solemnly swear to treat this polish like my own child.”
21. When a random acquaintance asks you for advice on their gross nail issues because you “know stuff about nails”.
Bitch, I ain’t no doctor, please remove your fungus toe from my eye sight.
22. When a brand announces their new collection and it’s amazing:
Give it to me now and nobody gets hurt.
23. When you paint one hand perfectly and the other hand is a disaster.
Dear Jeebus, please make me good at painting ALL my nails. Amen.
24. Seeing someone else’s stash and being incredibly amazed and jealous.
Soooo, can we be best friends forever and ever and ever? I love you.
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›