110 Thoughts Every Girl Has While Building A Froyo
Whether it's for breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, dinner or even a nightly treat, there are certain thoughts every girl has while creating the ultimate frozen treat. These are them.
1.
1. You know what sounds nice? Froyo.
2. But should I really? Yes. It’s hot, froyo is a weather-friendly snack.
3. I was really supposed to be sticking to my diet…
4. Tart is totally healthy, so I can do this.
5. Celebrities do it, so it’s completely diet-approved.
6. I feel so Britney right now.
7. They’re skinny, so eating froyo will make me skinny too.
8. That’s right, I’m gonna stick to tart, and only add a few pieces of fruit.
9. Fruit is also healthy.
10. I wonder if they added any flavors since I was here last.
11. Ah, they added Cookies ‘N Cream. I don’t think they had that yesterday.
12. Wow this cup is really big. Do they actually think I’m gonna fill this whole cup?
13.Huh, they have Birthday Cake too.
14. Oh my god. Red Velvet. I have to stock up.
15. I’m gonna grab a few sample cups, ya never know what might be tasty.
16. Three cups should do it...Who are we kidding? Six. I’ll do six.
17. God bless, they brought Peanut Butter Cup back
18. Only a few samples, and then I’ll definitely just get tart.
19. WHOAH Graham Cracker is certainly a game changer.
20. Who the fuck thought Green Tea was a good flavor? Kill it! Kill it with fire!
21. What is Taro? Isn’t that some sort of mind reading voodoo?
22. LOL FRUIT FLAVORS CAN KISS MY ASS.
23. Who comes into froyo and is like, ya know what? I want a sorbet flavor.
24. Fuck sorbet.
25. Why is sorbet even a thing? It’s like the socially misguided cousin of actual ice cream.
26. Oh wait...lactose intolerant people need that.
27. I bet I’m lactose intolerant. My stomach gets upset when I have too much milk.
28. Definitely a lactard. But that’s okay, I’m strong enough to handle one cup of froyo.
29. I totally know I’m gluten-free too. Bagels make me constipated.
30. I should Web MD my symptoms.
31. Well that’s thoughtful of this place to have sorbet flavors. But only 2. 2 MAX.
32. Too many sorbet flavors would waste space for the actual flavors.
33. Back to the challenge at hand.
34. Oh my god that person got sugar free Prailine who does that?????
35. Diabetics. God I’m such a bitch.
36. I bet it has less calories though…
37. I’m gonna try it.
38. Wow that’s actually really good. Maybe you'll get space in my cup later Prailine.
39. Huh, is that fudge brownie flavor any good you think? Oh it’s good. Damn that is fresh.
40. Okay, so I’m gonna save tart for next time because I deserve a treat tonight.
41. Alright, just one sample of the tart so I’ve paid my respects.
42. That is a tad more tart than I remember. Birthday Cake was not that tart.
43. Just one flavor...uhhh okay. Birthday Cake.
44. YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN FIRST! You are the evening winner!
45. Winner winner froyo dinner!
46. But wait...ugh I def need that Cookies ‘N Cream too.
47. They took so pretty, all happy and snuggly next to each other.
48. And lonely. Why so lonely little fro? Do you need another friend?
49. ADDITION OF GRAHAM CRACKER IT IS!!
50. I see you Green Tea, tryna contaminate my cup. Never gonna happen. You taste like kitty litter.
51. Wow, this looks like a lot of yogurt. Guess I filled up the cup.
52. Maybe this is why the cups are so big.
53. I should really brighten it up with one more...the other colors are kind of blah-looking
54. No offense other three flavors, I respect you.
55. LET’S GO RED VELVET, BRING IT HOME!!
56. Wow that’s an ambitious cup.
57. No biggie, I’ll still be healthy with fruit. Fruit will save me.
58. Plus the guy next to me got a little more, so I’m for sure not the fattest kid in this place
59. Okay, obviously start with strawberries because they’re the king of the froyo fruit options.
60. Pineapple too, gotta love pineapple.
61. Do I want kiwis? Why is that one kind of brown? And will green look weird on my yogurt?
62. Those mangos are DEFINITELY not ripe enough. I’d crack a tooth on that one.
63. Did they stomp on the blueberries before they put them in there? I could make a blueberry mash with those. Maybe I can pocket a few and use them for muffins tomorrow.
64. What the fuck are those bizarre orange balls? They look like steroid-infused caviar. Gross.
65. No, seriously, who eats that waste of space?
66. Oh. That guy just got some… feeling judgmental now, maybe they’re good
67. I’ll sample one, just to say that I did it
68. SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT. NEVER AGAIN.
69. Not okay, I need something to wash the flavor out of my mouth
70. Those cheesecake bites should do the trick
71. Holy crap they have toasted coconut. Shit just got real.
72. Okay, it already feels like 8 lbs, I should probably just sprinkle on some almonds and be done with it.
73. Although…
74. Are those cookie dough balls?
75. Okay a few of those won’t hurt.
76. WHOOPS! Hand slipped. I guess 12 is okay too.
77. This idiot filling the machines has no idea I’m eating my toppings in line
78. Whoohoo poppin’ em like adderall during exam week!
79. Gotta save those ounces! Every ounce counts!
80. I bet I’m saving like… at least $5 by eating the toppings in line.
81. Just gonna nom one more Reese’s annnndddd...fuck he just yelled at me.
82. This is embarrassing. People are looking.
83. Okay, okay, you caught me, I’m putting it down. Slowly, so nobody gets hurt.
84. Asshole.
85. Just for that I’m taking more and eating it when you’re not looking.
86. I’m a ninja. A froyo ninja.
87. Oh man, peanut butter drizzle. Should I do it?
88. I put fruit in my bowl….that should counteract the drizzle.
89. OMMMGGGGG it looks like heaven!!!
90. Time to weigh this baby, and for the love of god, no judgment from the cashier plz.
91. 16 OZ?!?!?! THAT’S A FUCKING POUND OF FROYO.
92. I could literally buy half a swimsuit from Target for the price of this baby
93. Not that I should be wearing a swimsuit after this…
94. Alright calm down, 8 oz of those are probably toppings and air...
95. And fruit toppings…with some drizzles on top…
96. What do you mean, ‘do I want a pink or a green spoon’?
97. Do I LOOK like a tree-hugging granola freak to you?
98. Oh god I should’ve put granola on here, that’s what I’m missing.
99. Can’t go back now, that would be mortifying.
100. Do I have a punch card? Lol you must be new.
101. Wait, wait...shit where’s my punch card???
102. I have a fucking punch card you ignoramus, I’m just looking for it
103. Seriously??? Where is that sneaky punch card?!
104. Ugh FINE I’ll take another. It must be at home…
105. I’ve got to have at least 8 at home. Whatever, I’ll just put them together next time.
106. I’m like the cat lady of punch cards now. I should give these as gifts.
107.Gotta make sure to Instagram this before I dive in.
108. It’s gonna get so many likes.
109. Fuck it, I can’t even wait.
110. I’M GOING IN!!!!
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