Why Turtles Are So Much Better Than Cats

Turtles and tortoises are perfect in every way, and yet the internet is still dominated by cats. I honestly shouldn’t need to explain this to you guys, but here’s why you should be giving turtles your attention instead.

Regarding toilet paper:

ID: 433840

Cats shred the crap out of it.

ID: 433831

But turtles will fold the ends for you.

ID: 433858

Regarding laptops:

ID: 433861

Cats will prevent you from getting any work done.

ID: 433910

But turtles will type up your report.

ID: 433917

Regarding birthdays:

ID: 433878

Cats will leave you hairballs and an assortment of dead rodents as “presents.”

ID: 433892

But turtles will throw you a party.

ID: 433902

Regarding dinner:

ID: 433922

Cats get their hair all over the food.

ID: 433927

But turtles observe the rules of etiquette.

ID: 433923

On getting wet:

ID: 433967

Cats hate it, hate you, and temporarily lose cuteness points.

ID: 433984

But all is right with the world when turtles are wet.

ID: 433992

Regarding dogs:

ID: 433995

Cats are prone to bullying them.

ID: 433996

But tortoises will be their bffs.

ID: 433998

Regarding asking for a loan:

ID: 434007

Cats think your dream to open a used book store is a terrible idea.

ID: 434008

But turtles believe you’re worth the risk.

ID: 434012

Regarding coming home from work:

ID: 433937

Cats don’t care if you’ve had a bad day at work.

ID: 433950

But turtles will always greet you with a smile.

ID: 433953

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