1. When you see several small children in one space, you panic.
2. When there is a baby in your vicinity, you completely lose your cool and don’t know how to be playful with it, so you just end up serving major resting bitch face.
4. You don’t see anything wrong with calling a baby “it.”
5. Whenever someone gives you a baby to hold, he or she cries almost instantaneously.
6. Someone always has to remind you how to actually hold a baby.
7. Just thinking about giving birth is painful.
How does that even HAPPEN?!
8. You “lose” your phone or some other important item multiple times a day.
9. When this happens, you react as if the world is going to end at any moment.
But really, it’s just a material object. Get over it.
10. You treat your pet as if he or she is your actual child.
And to be all the way real, it really and truly is.
12. You don’t really see how one takes care of a real-life human being.
Like, it’s all alive and stuff.
14. You’re the last person a relative asks to babysit their child or children.
You + children = dystopia.