33 Hobbit And Lord Of The Rings T-Shirts

In advance of the new film, here is a gallery of Middle Earth merch, including 31 total tees and two more that should be. The good, the bad, the… precious.

Image squares sourced, in part, from Shirtoid, the Internet’s best resource for new t-shirts designed around pop culture motifs.

8-Bit Gandalf hangs by a thread… (Did you see what I did there? Mmmkay.)

Designed by Nathan W. Pyle.

Gollum goes for the gold.

Designed by Kent Zonestar.

Speaking of (nerd) gold, no list of Hobbit tees would be complete without a bit of vintage deadstock, as plumbed from the depths of eBay.

Buy it now for a cool $150.

Designed by Susan Greenwood Sweeton.

Middle Earth meets The House of the Mouse. Parody ensues.

Designed by Famous After Death.

Know your meme.

Designer unknown.

The Shire, as filtered through a distressed, tourist tee treatment.

Designer unknown.

Frodo, reimagined here as the Calvin to Gandalf’s Hobbes.

Designed by Cool Johnny.

Originally a Photoshopped hoax (left) but now, by the powers of Internet e-commerce, very much real.

Designer unknown.

Bilbo’s trusty sword, Sting.

Designed by Steve Thomas.

True to the source material, this design glows in the dark “when orcs are close. And it’s times like that, my lad, when you have to be extra careful.”

“Keep it secret. Keep it safe.”

Designed by Patrick Spens.

Add hobbit feet slippers to complete the look.

Lock up your cats, the White Wizard approaches.

Designed by Sergio37.

Change we can believe in.

Designer unknown.

Not a t-shirt… but it should be!

Illustrated by Sean Hartter.

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, yolked around the so-called Experimental Jet Set aesthetic.

Designed by In Stank We Trust.

“The board [game] is set, the pieces are moving. We come to it at last, the great battle of our time.”

Designed by The Hookshot.

Tell. It. Again.

Designed by Cubik.

There’s more to this Hob-bot than meets the eye…

Designed by Jeremy Henrickson and Travis Greenwood.

Happy Hour libations with The Masters of Evil.

Designed by Daniel Radcliffe A.K.A. Spacemonkeydr.

This is not the trilogy you’ve been looking for.

Designer unknown.

The film’s “official” apparel is predictably boring, save perhaps for this design which collects our heroes’ facial hair into a hirsute aggregation.

Designer unknown.

Tolkien, as funneled through Dr. Seuss.

Designed by The Hookshot.

You shall not puff, puff, pass on this design wrapped around a phonetic pun (emphasis mine).

Designer unknown.

On a related note, here’s one Ring(er) to rule them all. (Groan…)

Cotton candy with a sparkling twist.

Designed by Evan Ferstenfeld, Peter Kramar & Roni Lagin.

Shuddering at the thought of skinny wizard legs. You’re welcome!

Designed by Mike Jacobsen.

Cap tip: Next Movie

Gollum breaches the 4th Wall in this send up of the Japanese horror flick, The Ring.

Designed by Andy Hunt.

He’d cut off your head if he stood but a little higher from the ground.

Designer unknown.

A bit of faux branding for Bree’s best pub. Our business might be our own but we’d still like a pint nonetheless.

Designer unknown.

One snack chip to rule them all.

Designed by Daniel Sotomayor.

Middle Earth Metro.

Designed by Reagan H. Lee.

Cap tip: Fashionably Geek

Here’s a closer look at the detailing.

Designed by Reagan H. Lee.

Middle Earth Metro map key.

Designed by Reagan H. Lee.

Classic album art from The Beatles, repurposed here for “four shaggy haired boys from the Shire”.

Designed by The Creep.

Finally, there’s this info-chart, which is doubly topical with the inclusion of Kris Kringle.

Developed by Stephen Wildish.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey opens Stateside on December 14th.

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