26 Indisputable Facts Why Muppets Make The Best Lovers

Smart, funny, and a little bit dangerous? Muppets really are bringing sexy back.

1. They’re bulletproof (with nothing to lose)

Fire away! They also aren’t concerned if you decide to fire off a couple rounds of political banter over dinner. Although, they will expect you to pick up the tab.

2. They’re captains of industry.

With great dental + health care plans, included. Health care plans are totally hot.

3. They aren’t afraid to be open with their feelings.

Or the possibility of a threesome.

4. They cut right to the chase.

No more trying to understand lame subtext here.

5. They’re in a band, fulfilling your lifelong fantasy of dating a rock star.

6. And they’re GREAT dancers.

7. They really throw themselves into things (including relationships)

9. They would NEVER judge you on your love of baked goods.

No matter how out of control it seems.

10. Because they have vices of their own.

Like GARDENING, guys, jeez. Way to ruin the innocence of Sesame Street forever.

11. They give great advice.

12. They totally get your love for Twilight and are totally “Team Edward.”

13. They know a great lover is ALSO a great communicator.

Nailed it.

14. They aren’t afraid to get passionate in the kitchen.

And they know that keeping a relationship fresh means using fresh ingredients.

15. They can make you feel SO special, just by looking at you.

16. And seriously, sometimes their smallest gesture can be just SO sexy.

*Swoon*

17. They are naturally experimental.

18. Even if it means things might get a little out of hand.

Just make sure you have a safe word picked out, ahead of time. “Mee-mee-mee mee” would probably be a good one.

19. They’re happy to coordinate their outfit to yours.

20. They make fantastic storytellers.

21. They can relate to having issues with your parents.

22. And to family drama, in general.

23. Sometimes they can get a little jealous.

OMG, what’s with the third degree, muppet? You’re cute when you’re mad but seriously -stop with all the silly questions!

24. And, okay, so their place might be kind of gross.

25. But deep in your heart you know the truth: No matter how hard you try, you just can’t quit them.

26. No, seriously. Muppets don’t die. You are tied to them f-o-r-e-v-e-r.

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