5 Beautiful Places To Visit In England, And Terrible Things That Happened There

A tourist's guide to England's most magical spots with horrifying pasts.

1. The Hellfire Caves, West Wycombe

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What is this magical place?

Located in idyllic rural Buckinghamshire, West Wycombe Park is home to acres of pristine gardens. The park's centrepiece is the incredible renaissance-era mansion as well as many smaller houses and temples around the park built in a similar style. With its many breathtaking natural attractions, as well as its ever-popular picnic spots and footpaths, it truly is a jewel in the crown of the National Trust.

What awful thing happened here?

Beneath this wonderful paradise lie the Hellfire Caves, meeting place of the 18th Century's most infamous secret society (based in Wycombe): The Hellfire Club. Membership included high-power political players like the 4th Earl of Sandwich, and Thomas Jefferson was a frequent guest at a variety of Hellfire functions, which included raucous feasts, satanic rituals, and orgies. If you think that all doesn't sound TOO awful, take a moment to think about Thomas Jefferson, then an orgy, and then combine those two images.

2. Bakewell, Derbyshire

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What is this magical place?

Tucked away in the rolling hills of the Derbyshire Dales lies this small historic market town, perhaps best known for its natural and architectural beauty, as well as its delicious dessert namesake, the Bakewell pudding.

What awful thing happened here?

Murder, followed by the imprisonment of someone who might not have murdered anyone. In 1974 a woman was killed in Bakewell. Dozens of suspects were rounded up, and a man named Stephen Downing was the only one without a solid alibi. He was then arrested and charged with the crime, presumably on the shaky legal grounds of "not NOT doing it". The case has gone down in history as one of Britain's most famous unsolved murders, as well as one of the nation's longest miscarriages of justice.

3. Randwick Woods, Stroud

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What is this magical place?

When it comes to all-out beauty, the Cotswolds are hard to beat. The towns are quaint, the wildlife is untouched, and everyone who lives there is presumably quite hot. That's not more apparent than in the Randwick Woods, famous for their hiking trails and seasonal orchids. It's hard to imagine having a care in the world here, other than having to leave.

What awful thing happened here?

Weird car sex, that's what. Randwick is a popular hotspot for dogging. A quick visit to swinger-nation.co.uk (not recommended) advertises the park's space for "20+" cars and the tantalisingly vague police level of "occasionally", which is sure to draw nervous first-timers and thrill-seekers alike.

Not everyone is impressed, mind. The only Swinger Nation user review of the park rates it two stars, noting that the nearby Frith woods at Bussage are better for "looking in windows late at night". So now you know.

4. Hindhead, Surrey

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What is this magical place?

Touted as a national "beauty spot", Hindhead is a well-preserved area covered in diverse wildlife and well-known for its large areas of heather. Perfect for family outings or a nice long walk.

What awful thing happened here?

Someone was murdered by highwaymen while on a nice long walk. The killers stripped the man, a sailor, of his clothes, and were caught hours later after trying to sell the clothes nearby (HOT MURDER TIP: try waiting a few days until people forget about a naked dead guy they just found before selling bloodied clothes that fit him exactly). They were then hung at the scene of the crime, as a warning to other people who want to kill a man to be a bit smarter about it.

5. Guildford, Surrey

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What is this magical place?

Guildford's stunning aesthetic and cultural flourishes have put it on the map as a truly quintessential English town, albeit one that conceals a terrible truth. It's perhaps best known for its 11th Century castle, which draws tourists from across the country, tourists who obviously have no concept of Guildford's dark secret. With its countless examples of flawless architectural design, incredible canals, and the breathtaking flower garden in the castle grounds, Guildford is truly one of the most beautiful places in England, which only makes its vile, shameful past all the more tragic.

What awful thing happened here?

Piers Morgan was born here.